1. Caught doing something embarrassing in public? Say you lost a bet!
2. Need a boost of creativity? Try looking at something that's blue.
It's a creativity-enhancing color.
3. If you ever have to park in a city at night, park in front of a bank.
They're always lit up and have cameras everywhere.
4. If you can't figure out if it's "I" or "me", take the other person
out of the sentence and it will become clear.
5. You can get most answers to math assignments online by
typing in the name of the textbook and then "answers"
6. If an older guy is flirting with you and you want him to stop,
smile at him and call him "sir" - he'll stop immediately.
7. Buy one, get one free. Then get a refund and keep the free one.
8. Giving a presentation? Bring a bottle of water to the stage.
When you can't remember what to say, take a drink.
Nobody will ever know.
9. Can't decide if you're hungry? Ask yourself if you
want an apple. If your answer is "no" then you're
probably bored instead of hungry.
10. If you're ever stuck in a large crowd, put coins
in a can and shake it, asking people to donate.
Everyone will move to avoid you.
11. Hungry and want a ride home? Go to the local pizza
shop, order a pizza for delivery, and get a ride with the
driver.
12. If you ever get stuffed in a trunk, disconnect the
backlight wires. When a cop pulls them over, kick the door
so they know you are there.
13. If you find a hair in your food, heavily salt it before you
send it back to the kitchen to make sure you got a new order.
14. If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone
so you can use it in the future as an excuse.
15. If you're too embarrassed to buy something, get a Birthday
card with it.
16. When in an argument, act as though you are being recorded.
This will ensure that you don't say anything you will regret.
17. Always check your cell signal when looking for new dorms
or apartments to live in.
18. When you're finished an essay, copy and paste it into google
translate and listen to it. It's the easiest way to find mistakes.
19. If you want someone to listen to you, start with "I shouldn't
be telling you this, but..." It's a surefire way to make sure they
listen.
20. Never say sorry to the other driver after an accident that
wasn't your fault. It's an admission of fault and could be
used against you in court.
