I TOUCHED A T*** FOR TWENTY BUCKS
by Williem Mactingle

I touched a t***
For twenty bucks
I grabbed it with my mighty grasp
I rubbed it against both my hands
I covered my skin in a faecal bedsheet

They told me to clap
Or else they wouldn't pay me
So I clapped
And little bits of p**p
Flew deep into my eyes

I'd closed my eyes beforehand
But it didn't help
Not one little bit

But as I held ole Andrew lovingly in my hands
Oh, but as tightly nested ole Jackson in my billfold
With my revoltingly dirty hands
The gods forgave me
Because I hadn't done it for free

I only did it
For the glory of winning
Twenty bucks