Section I - Marriage
1. Important Facts and Principles
God’s Original Design. God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the
institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. “Marriage is
honorable”; it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the
two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates
of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this
relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race,
it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and
the moral nature.—Patriarchs and Prophets, 46.
Approved by God Today. [In 1885 Ellen White stated, “In this age of
the world, as the scenes of earth’s history are soon to close and we are
about to enter upon the time of trouble such as never was, the fewer the
marriages contracted, the better for all, both men and women.”—Testimonies
for the Church 5:366. Obviously, she believed that the end of the world was
imminent. But Christ’s return has been delayed. In 1901 Ellen White wrote,
“We may have to remain here in this world because of insubordination many
more years.” She continued giving counsel on marital relationships throughout
her lifetime.] There is in itself no sin in eating and drinking, or in marrying
and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in the time of noah, and it is
lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is properly treated, and not carried
to sinful excess.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.
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In regard to marriage, I would say, Read the Word of God. Even in
this time, the last days of this world’s history, marriages take place among
Seventh-day Adventists....
We have, as a people, never forbidden marriage, except in cases where
there were obvious reasons that marriage would be misery to both parties.
And even then, we have only advised and counseled.—Letter 60, 1900.
A Preparation for Heaven. Let them remember that the home on earth is
to be a symbol of and a preparation for the home in heaven.—The Ministry of
Healing, 363.
God wants the home to be the happiest place on earth, the very symbol of
the home in heaven. Bearing the marriage responsibilities in the home, linking
their interests with Jesus Christ, leaning upon His arm and His assurance,
husband and wife may share a happiness in this union that angels of God
commend.—The Adventist Home, 102.
A Lifelong Union. Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union
between Christ and His church.—Testimonies for the Church 7:46.
In the youthful mind marriage is clothed with romance, and it is difficult
to divest it of this feature, with which imagination covers it, and to impress
the mind with a sense of the weighty responsibilities involved in the marriage
vow. This vow links the destinies of the two individuals with bonds which
naught but the hand of death should sever.
Every marriage engagement should be carefully considered, for marriage
is a step taken for life. Both the man and the woman should carefully consider
whether they can cleave to each other through the vicissitudes of life as long
as they both shall live.—The Adventist Home, 340.
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From an Elevated Standpoint. Those professing to be Christians should
not enter the marriage relation until the matter has been carefully and
prayerfully considered from an elevated standpoint, to see if God can be
glorified by the union. Then they should duly consider the result of every
privilege of the marriage relation, and sanctified principle should be the basis
of every action.—The Review and Herald, September 19, 1899.
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or
inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help
me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my
sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then
in the fear of God move forward.—Fundamentals of Christian Education, 104,
105.
All in the Name of the Lord Jesus. One about to marry a wife should
stop to consider candidly why he takes this step. Is his wife to be his helper,
his companion, his equal, or will he pursue toward her such a course that
she cannot have an eye single to the glory of God? Will he venture to give
loose rein to his passions and see how much care and taxation he can subject
his wife to without extinguishing life, or will he study the meaning of the
words, “Whatsoever ye do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord
Jesus”?—Ms 152, 1899.
The Necessity of Careful Preparation. Before assuming the
responsibilities involved in marriage, young men and young women should
have such an experience in practical life as will prepare them for its duties and
its burdens. Early marriages are not to be encouraged. A relation so important
as marriage and so far-reaching in its results should not be
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entered upon hastily, without sufficient preparation, and before the mental and
physical powers are well developed.—The Ministry of Healing, 358.
My dear Emma, [Written June 27, 1869, to Emma Mcdearmon, who was
21 when she married Ellen White’s son, Edson, on his 21st birthday, July 28,
1870. Emma was born on November 16, 1848. Ellen White’s son, William C.
White, was 21 when he married Mary Kelsy, who was not quite 19.] There is
not a person I could take to my heart as heartily as yourself. Yet I advise you
... to ... Move cautiously, weigh every move. You are making a move which
will be lasting. Therefore do not move hastily. Do not get entirely swallowed
up in this one matter, marriage.—Letter 7, 1869.
Consultation With God. The words of Christ should ever be borne in mind:
“As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of
man.” They married wives, they were given in marriage until the day that
Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. We see
the same infatuation in regard to marriage. Youth, and even men and women,
who ought to be wise and discerning, act as if bewitched upon this question.
Satanic power seems to take possession of them. Courtship and marriage is
the all-absorbing theme. The most indiscreet marriages are formed. God is not
consulted. Human feelings, desires, and passions bear down everything before
them, until the die is cast. Untold misery is the result of this state of things, and
God is dishonored. The marriage bed is not sanctified or holy. Shall there not
be a decided change in reference to this important matter?—Letter 6a, 1888.