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Hang on, be right back. A vertical line at 2013 is marked 'today'.
We're the speck on the left. Everything is done in a hurry.
Male officer: Sir, open the con. Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. Bride: I'm not Amy. {{Title text: I'm always disappointed when 'Anamorphic Widescreen' doesn't refer to a widescreen Animorphs movie. A man with a beard and a beret stands behind the counter, holding a sword. {{Glad text: Before you say anything, no, I know not to leave my computer sitting out logged in to all my accounts. Character 1: I'm not sure how to tell. Person 1: No, just clouds. 
 - At dawn, look to the east.
They almost had me caught in their weird... Hang on, be right back. {{Title text: When the results are published, no one will be sure whether to report on them again. We're headquartered here, in this real building I found! Beret Guy has a bowl. Beret Guy: We make stuff for phones! Like apps and stickers! There are ghosts here. Beret Guy: I hope so! Keep shooting and never stop. It's right behind me, isn't it? {{Title text: Shoot for the Moon. If you miss, you'll end up co-orbiting the Sun alongside Earth, living out your days alone in the void within sight of the lush, welcoming home you left behind. Can I back up? {{Title text: You absolute-fucking-... YES Were they going to have sex anyway? At the bottom is a set of white chessmen, having made the following moves: e3, d4, Nc3, Bd2, Nf3. Also on the grid are black circular counters, at the grid intersections to the bottom right of b4, c5, c6, f4, and f6. Don't write that down. There's only one group that comes out of this looking smart: Everyone who pirated Photoshop. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE' 'It doesn't matter! Studies support single spaces! I'm using double spaces right now! We can all hear your stupid whitespace. Black hat guy: You should install this keyboard I found. Is it better than SwiftKey? Black hat guy: In some ways. The key area is blank-I can't type anything. The figure stares at their phone. {{Title text: I'm always installing tons of weird experimental keyboards because it serves as a good reminder that nothing I was going to type was really worth the trouble. There's a ramp to the right, down which a goat is being led by beret guy. The vertical axis is labeled 'billions' and goes from 0 to 8 in increments of one. The horizontal axis has years from 1970 to 2020 in increments of 10. A vertical line at 2013 is marked 'today'. The first measurement, 'number of people in the world' begins at 1980 at just under 4 billion and steadily increases to today's 7 billion. The second measurement is a gradual incline marked 'number of LEGO people in the world', which begins just before 1980 at 0, gets to around 2 billion by the mid-90s, and increases to around 5. Both figures are projected past today's measurements as dashed lines and meet at a point in 2019. {{Title text: The LEGO Group is already the world's largest tire manufacturer. {{Title text: If you find and stop the video, but you've--against all odds--gotten curious about the trade summit, just leave the tab opened. It will mysteriously start playing again 30 minutes later! Phone: But how did you get my number? Figure: Your phone bill. {{Title text: I asked a few friends whether they'd had this happen, then looked up the popularity of their initials names over time. Based on those numbers, it looks like there must be at least 750,000 people in the US alone who think 'Sure, that's probably my email address' on a regular basis. Hatted figure: Well, maybe those numbers are just intrinsically better! Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen {{Title text: Are you ok? Do you need help? {{Title text: 'Look to my coming on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east. Whether these are pleasing or not is illustrated with a red cross or green tick. The highlight's starting point, end point, and number of lines included is such that there is an internal square in the middle, illustrated in green. Not only does it have an internal square, but the distance between the leftmost edge and the highlight start point is the same as the distance between the rightmost edge and the highlight end point. The entire paragraph is highlighted, making one big rectangle. The whole paragraph is selected, but the highlight starts away from the leftmost margin. Many, many red Xes. {{Title text: And if clicking on any word pops up a site-search for articles about that word, I will close all windows in a panic and never come back. Sitting figure: Tail recursion is its own reward. {{Title text: Functional programming combines the flexibility and power of abstract mathematics with the intuitive clarity of abstract mathematics. Standing figure: What data is it? Sitting figure: Mostly me emailing with people about cryptography. I don't know how they got it there. Gathering all this data on me as if anything I do means anything. One is sitting; another is standing behind the chair. Oops, I dropped some on my shirt! Better take it off. Google, are you there? Google, this lotion feels soooo good. This burrito is real. {{Title text: I'm the Philosopher until someone hands me a burrito. You can't convince anyone this is weird. A woman is holding a big spider. The other figure looks shocked. There is another spider on the floor. This is how I feel about lobster. {{Title text: As best as I can tell, I was transported here from Earth Prime sometime in the late 1990s. Your universe is identical in every way, except for the lobster thing and the thing where some of you occasionally change your clocks for some reason. There's a bed, a picture on the wall, some curtains, a rug, and one item on the floor. On the whole, the room is immaculate. Figure 2: inside a thought bubble whoa- what's wrong with me? My room never looks as nice as the rooms other people apologize for. {{Title text: 'Sorry, I left out my glass of water from last night. Define doesithalt program :  return true;  The big picture solution to the halting problem {{Title text: I found a counterexample to the claim that all things must someday die, but I don't know how to show it to anyone. On it, from left to right, are: a bag of fruit gushers; a juicer; a bottle of bright red liquid; a bottle of bright blue liquid; and another bottle of bright red liquid. I use mine all the time. The panels transition with a Ken Burns-like fade-and-pan. {{Title text: Points to anyone who hacks the Flickr devs' computers to make their text editors do this when you click on anything. A man stands behind her. That's the last of the big ones. Computer: Computers will never understand a sonnet computers will never enjoy a salad comp- {{Title text: 'At least humans are better at quietly amusing ourselves, oblivious to our pending obsolescence' thought the human, as a nearby Dell Inspiron contentedly displayed the same bouncing geometric shape screensaver it had been running for years. One is riding in a hover-car, or similar. Riding figure: May the Force be with you! Riding figure: It's just something my grandma used to say. No idea what it means. I wonder on what date Star Wars will be quoted for the last time. {{Title text: I guess it's a saying from the Old Country. Two other figures in white coats stand next to him, looking on. One is holding a clipboard. {{Title text: The dose is much lower when administered orally. We're still trying to get the paper into the needles for subcutaneous injection. When males try to mate with them, they transfer pollen. Nothing of the bee remains, but we know it existed from the shape of this flower. Beret guy: Wow, so... It has purple-pink petals on a mottled grey background, along with the bee-like parts. It's quite a realistic painting. {{Title text: Fortunately, exactly zero other annoying internet behaviors have developed during this time. Two are wearing police-style hats; one holds a clipboard. Runs as fast as a cheetah. Figure 2: Weighs as much as a blue whale. Figure 3: Can we negotiate with it? It has the intelligence of a two-year-old child. By the time the Frequently-Made Comparisons Monster was finally defeated, it had eaten enough people to fill a stadium and devastated an area the size of Rhode Island. {{Title text: It was finally destroyed with a nuclear weapon carrying the destructive energy of the Hiroshima bomb. Embedded in the cloud are 5 single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks. Questions found in Google Autocomplete Why do whales jump Why are witches green Why are there mirrors above beds Why do I say uh Why is sea salt better Why are there trees in the middle of fields Why is there not a Pokemon MMO Why is there laughing in TV shows Why are there doors on the freeway Why are there so many svchost. Figure: When I text you, you reply once on GChat, then go quiet, yet answer IRC right away. It has delivered a note to the figure. {{Title text: If you call my regular number, it just goes to my pager. They immediately regret this decision. Here, the columns are given in a -delimited form. Star Planet Suggested Name Gliese 667C b Space planet Gliese 667C c Pilf Gliese 667C d A star Gliese 667C e e' ; DROP TABLE planets; -- Gliese 667C f Blogosphere Gliese 667C g Blogodrome Gliese 667C h Earth Tau Ceti b Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B Tau Ceti c Giant dog planet Tau Ceti d Tiny dog planet Tau Ceti e Phil plainet Tau Ceti f Unicode snowman Gliese 832 b Asshole Jupiter Gliese 581 b Waist-deep cats Gliese 581 c Planet 14 Gliese 581 d Ballderaan Gliese 581 e Eternia prime Gliese 581 f Taupe Mars Gliese 581 g Jelly-filled planet Epsilon Eridani b Skydot Epsilon Eridani c Laser noises Gliese 176 b Pandora Gliese 176 c Pantera Kepler-61 b Goldenpalace. Two have beach towels. A woman is looking at her cell phone. One of them is beret guy. Someone said the south beach has a 20% higher risk of shark attacks. Man: Yeah, but statistically, taking three beach trips instead of two increases our odds of getting shot by a swimming dog carrying a handgun in its mouth by 50%! Beret guy: Oh no! This is our third trip! Reminder: A 50% increase in a tiny risk is still tiny. {{Title text: You may point out that strictly speaking, you can use that statement to prove that all risks are tiny--to which I reply HOLY SHIT WATCH OUT FOR THAT DOG! The female officer is holding a pair of glasses with something attached to it. Did you make this glasses attachment? Black hat guy through door: Oh, yeah. Black hat guy: It detects when someone near you is wearing Google Glass and shines a laser pointer at the