(Page 1) ARMY GAGS! March 2004 Issue! 1st Ossie 2.50 Meet the team! (Page 2) Hi! And welcome to the very first issue of Army Gags! Let's Meet the team! Name: John Cork Age: 19 Bio: When he was 7, he was an orphan. The army came to celebrate the orphanages 10th birthday and picked him to join. Name: JAck Age: 18 Bio: Unknown And finally.... Name: General Oustain Age: Dunno Bio: Unknown (Page 3) In this issue! P4. The Army P8. Jokes P9. Scrap Mail P10. Johns Life P12. Lunch! P15. Comic Book Experience P20. More Jokes! P21. Goodbye! El Jonno: "I didn't do it!" "Eheh!" "Shut up!" "The freak who took this comic, say your prayers!" Jack: "What about me!?" (Page 4) THE ARMY And it 'aint pretty! John and Jack were asleep *zzz* *zzzz* When... *BRRIINNGG* John and jack woke up with a start. John: "AAAAHHHH!" Jack: "AAAHH!" John: "Oh no! It's training!" Jack: "It is?" John: "We gotta get ready!" (Page 5) John: "If we're late, don't blame me!" Jack: "Ok! Ok!" *Grumpy* Just then, the general came in! Oustain: "Boys! You're late!" Jack: "Sorry!" Later... John: "I hate training!" Jack: "So do I!" Oustain: "Keep moving!" (Page 6) Oustain: "Keep ya' hair on!" Suddenly... Jack: "Woah!" John: "Huh? Jack??" Jack: "Look out below!" Bonk! Oustain: "Stand up!" Jack: "I hurt myself!" (Page 7) After training... John: "I'm bored!" Jack: "Me too!" John: "All we've done for the past 3 hours is watch T.V.!" Almost mid-night. T.V.: "Sick and tired of being in the army? Call 0800 287 287 33 John: "Hey look!" Jack: " What stupid?" John: "He calls me stupid!" THE END (Page 8) JOKES Equipment: Whoppie cusion Joke: Blow up the cusion. (Not to much) And put it under a pillow. It's a boobie trap so your not there when the joke happens. What's the difference between a baker and a heavy sleeper? One bakes the bread and the otehr breaks the bed. What's the difference between a clockmaker and a jail keeper? One seels watches and the other watches cells. (Page 9) SCRAP MAIL What's it about? What exactly is army gags about? It's about 2 people in the army. The alien creeba treeba fleeba kleeba? What!? One question How many issues of army gags will there be? I don't know I didn't make it! 70s John John Presly Baby John Giant John (Page 10) JOHNS LIFE John may have a boring life... But he's one cool guy John: "Hey wanna know what I do for a living?" Army!* *obviously! (Page 11) He's in the army because his friend jack is. He has a really dumb boss, the general. called gen. for short. Not nice! John and jack work very hard and I mean very hard. Jack: "Hey, what about me!" Its your life next issue! (Page 12) LUNCH! John: "It's lunch!" (Page 13) Jack: "But i'm not dressed!" John: "You're not the only one!" 5 minutes later... John: "Hooray! We're dressed!" Jack: "What about lunch?" John: "Good point!" So John and Jack tore away to the lunch hall. (Page 14) Jack: "Mmph!! What do you wanna do after lunch?" John: "Dunno" RRIINNGG! "Aahh fire!" General Oustain: "Blah!" John & Jack: "What fire!?" John: "Ha! Ha!" The end (Page 15) Comic book experience And he flew to the baddies base. He had a cool fight. Jack: "Hey!" Jack: "I was reading that!" Oustain: "You missed training to read that!" Jack: "Well duh!"