appeal. You have a work to do to govern yourself....
You should never set yourself above your wife. She needs kindness and
love, which will be reflected back to you again. If you expect her to love you,
you must earn this love by manifesting love and tenderness in your words and
actions for her. You have in your keeping the happiness of your wife. Your
course says to her, In order for you to be happy, you must yield your will up
fully to mine; you must submit to do my pleasure. You have taken special
delight in exercising your authority because you thought you could do so. But
time will show that if you pursue the course your own temperament would lead
you to do, you will not inspire in the heart of your wife love, but will wean her
affections from you, and she will in the end despise that authority, the power of
which she has never felt before in her married life. You are certainly making
hard and bitter work for yourself, and you will reap what you are sowing.
A Mother’s Responsibility to Her Child. I dare not do
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otherwise than speak to you plainly. The case demands it. How is the marriage
of Sister Drake to you improving her condition? Not a whit; but your course
is making her life a bitterness, her lot almost unbearable. I knew how it would
be as soon as I heard of your marriage. She thought she was to have one to
help her take care of her boy, but you would tear the mother from her son, and
require her to yield her parental care and affection for her son to you who have
only your marriage to plead why this should be so. You have done nothing
to earn this great sacrifice. You have not pursued a course to even gain her
confidence. Yet you demand this great sacrifice, the separation of the mother
from her son. You may plead that you understand the case, while we plead
[that] you know but little about it. Instead of your feeling it to be your duty
to be patient and affectionate, and judiciously manage the case of this her son,
you take a course that a heartless, unfeeling tyrant would pursue.
I would advise the mother to move in the fear of God and not allow a
comparative stranger to come in, claiming the title of husband, and separate
her child from her affection and care. God has not released that mother from
her responsibility because she has married you. You do not possess true love.
You are not acquainted with the pure article. If you were, you would never
have pursued the course you have.—Letter 4, 1870.
4. Remarriage of Widows and Widowers
Prospective Marriage in Old Age. Dear Brother Hare: I will say in regard
to your first letter received in the mail before the last, I have no special light
upon this subject and cannot give you information upon the point that interests
you. I advise you to consult with Wesley Hare and his wife, as they know the
one you have in mind and would be the
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proper counsellors. I know, as you say, that you must be lonely in your old
age, and if there is one whom you could love, and who would reciprocate that
love, I see no objection. But as I do not know the lady you have in mind, I
cannot speak as could one who knows both parties.
One thing is certain: You know that He whom you have served for many
years will be to you a safe Counsellor. Rest your case with Him who never
makes a mistake. Our time now, both yours and mine, is short, and we need
to be ripening for the future immortal life. Christ says, “Let not your heart
be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are
many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a
place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and
receive you unto Myself; that where I am, there ye may be also” [John 14:1-3].
Let us rejoice in this, and take on just as few worries as possible.
The Later Years a Time of Repose. The invitation to old and young is,
“Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in
heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls” [Matthew 11:28-30]. Thank the
Lord, with heart and soul and voice, that there is a haven of rest, sweet rest.
It is your privilege, and it is my privilege, to accept the invitation, and rest.
We want now that our remnant of life should be as free as possible from every
perplexity and care, that we shall have repose in the life of Christ. “My yoke,”
He says, “is easy, and My burden is light.”
The Lord will not disappoint any who put their trust in Him. He will be
first and last and best in everything to us. He will be a present help in every
time of need. In these last days of service we shall ... be held, and led, and
protected, by the
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power of Christ. May the Lord bless and strengthen you, that your last days
may be your best days, fragrant with the softening, subduing influence of His
love. The Lord bless and keep you and give you repose in His love, is my most
earnest desire for you, my brother.—Letter 70, 1898.
Remarriage of S. N. Haskell. We received Brother Haskell’s [Elder S. N.
Haskell’s first wife died in 1894. This letter refers to his second marriage,
which took place in 1897, when he was 64 years old.] letter the evening after
the Sabbath. We were glad to hear from you that your interests are united as
one. May the Lord bless this union, that you may be a strength and support to
one another at all times. May the peace of God rest upon you, is my sincere
desire and earnest prayer. “Go, stand and speak ... To the people all the words
of this life” [Acts 5:20].
I am pleased, Brother Haskell, that you have a helper [Mrs. Haskell].
This is that which I have desired for some time. The work in which we are