Why Your Mess Matters 

“But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” 1 Timothy 1:16 (ESV)

He looked at me with questioning eyes and said, “Mom, are you really mad about something else?”

My over-reaction to a spilled glass of chocolate milk gave my boy insight into my heart. I actually was upset about something else. The spilled chocolate milk was just one more mess to clean up in the larger mess of my life.

Several months before, our family had moved back to our hometown without my husband. We believed he would get transferred within three to four months, but it hadn’t happened.

Before we moved, I promised my children nothing would change. "It'll just be a new location,” I said. “Everything else will be the same.”

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Eleven months later, I was forced to admit everything had changed. Not only had my husband still not received a transfer, but my boys, homeschooled their entire lives, found themselves in school for the first time.

Add to that demanding sports schedules, the stress of new friendships, the financial and emotional strain of having a family in two different places — and it was plain to see mama lied … albeit unintentionally.

And me? I felt like a single mom most of the time. My husband was with us as much as his schedule allowed, but most of the day-to-day stress — stress I had never before endured alone — fell on me.

On my knees, scrubbing chocolate milk from my family room floor, I asked myself these questions:

Where is Jesus in this?

How do I help others see Him in me when life feels like a constant struggle to survive?

How can I make Jesus look good when everything’s falling apart?

We all want to be the mom who thrives, juggles everything well and is a perfect picture of motherhood — no matter what her circumstances bring. We want it, because it’s easier when things go well. But as Christians, we also want to thrive so others, especially our kids, can see Jesus in us. We long to rise above the noise so our lives draw others to Christ.

Don’t we have to be attractive in order to attract? No.

As a mom who’s lived through the "survival" season (and circled back more often than I'd like), I find other moms who are real about how hard motherhood is to be the most attractive thing in the world.

Knowing that you’ve asked for forgiveness as you mop up the chocolate milk, watching you slosh your way through the day while trying your best to honor God with your life, seeing you worship Jesus while you struggle … those are the things that draw me to you … and ultimately to Jesus within you.

Your mess matters to me.

Our lives capture constant rolling footage, illustrating to those around us whether we truly believe God is worth following … especially in the hard times.

According to our key verse, God has called us to live with other people in mind. Why? Because what we do with the circumstances we’re given — how we talk about them, act because of them and trust or distrust God through them — influences others.