wonder
How many conversations I will have to force
To move you from
my number one contact
on... everything.

How long until I don't have to see
your now-dead face staring back at me
over your shoulder
in that new sweater you loved so much

How long it will be
until people have to stop logging in as you
and making that little green dot
show up next to your name

"online"

The most mocking icon
I've ever seen

How long until you finally stay dead?

I just want to tell you
everything
like we always did

I want to tell you
my little splinters
are finally getting shaved down

Get your gentle encouragement
spiked with
the perfect nihilism

Your excitement that was so genuine
when things actually seemed good

Sometimes I can pretend
that you've retreated
and that I'll get that message