1_What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes. 

2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support. 

3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor. 

4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast. 

5_What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message. 

6_What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 

7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present. 

8_How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave. 

9_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles. 

10_How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up. 

11_Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point. 

12_Feminism. 

13_So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer 
patient. 

14_Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble. 

15_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything. 

16_What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery. 

17_So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn't work. 

18_How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house. 

19_What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. 

20_What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice. 

21_How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down. 

22_Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. 

23_What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose. 

24_How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months. 

25_How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy. 

26_What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence. 

27_How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch. 

28_Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died. 

29_What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile. 

30_What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period. 

31_How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. 

32_What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers. 

33_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to 
revolve around her. 

34_Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14. 

35_Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up. 

36_Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't. 

37_How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being 
black. 

38_What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. 

39_A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice. 

40_What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars. 

41_How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked. 

42_Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet. 

43_One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life. 

44_I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll 
shoot anyone. 

45_What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber. 

46_What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong. 

47_Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods. 

48_What's the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs. 

49_What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them. 

50_What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.

51_What do you say when you see your T.V. floating in the middle of the night? Drop it nigger!! 

52_Whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? I can't unload a truckload of bowling 
balls with a pitchfork. 

53_How do you blindfold a Chinese man? Dental floss!

54_Why are black people so fast? Because all the slow one are in the jail. 

55_What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. 

56_Why do brides wear a white dress? So that the dishwasher matches the washing machine. 

57_What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A jail break. 

58_What's faster than a nigga stealing your TV? His brother with your xbox. 

59_What's the toughest thing about eating bald pussy? Putting the diaper back on. 

60_What do you call an ethiopian with a bag of rice? A restaurant owner. 

61_How can you tell if a nigga is pregnant? Have her squat on a watermelon and check it for teeth marks. 

62_What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years? Whitney Houston's crack pipe. 

63_What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window. 

64_What's the difference between a woman and a computer? You can punch information into a computer. 

65_How do you make a gay fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt. 

66_What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded. 

67_What does a nigga and an apple have in common? Both look great hanging from a tree. 

68_the parents of the sandy hook victims should of kept the Christmas receipts. 

69_ Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they. 

70_ How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling. 

71_ Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again. 

72_What's the most confusing day in Detroit? Father's day. 

73_What's the hardest part of watching a school bus full of kindergarteners go off a cliff? The erection. 

74_What's black and blue, and scares mothers everywhere? Crib death. 

75_What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an ethiopian? A pair of jeans only has one fly on it. 

76_Fat logic.

77_What's faster than a speeding bullet? A jew with a coupon. 

78_How did Hitler kill so many Jews? Free transportation.

79_What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to shoot and the other is fun to eat. 

80_How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail it's other hand to the floor. 

81_Black dads coming home. 

82_How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Nachos. 

83_How do you stop a Mexican tank? You shoot the guy pushing it. 

84_I just gave my sister head. First time eating cheese. 

85_How do you fuck a special person? You go down. 

86_Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Cause it wasn't born yesterday. 

87_Why did Hitler kill himself? He got the gas bill. 

88_How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS. 

89_How did Jesus walk on water? Shit floats. 

90_How does a black woman fight crime? She gets an abortion. 

91_How do you drown a nigga? You pop their lips. 

92_Why can't Mexicans play UNO? They steal all of green cards. 

93_What's the worst thing about being black and Jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven. 

94_What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An erection. 

95_What do fat chicks and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans. 

96_What's pale, white, and bounces up and down in a baby's crib? A pedophile's ass. 

97_What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. 

98_How do you get a white girl to suck your dick? Put mayonnaise on it. 

99_What's the difference between a nigger and a pile of dog shit? Eventually the pile of dog shit will turn white and stop stinking. 

100_What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down a baby's throat.