Oh my goodness. I felt I was reading my story here. My dear as someone who has gone through exactly what you have and worse, let me advise you. LEAVE and don't look back. It took me up till I was 35 to deliver myself. It then took another 10 years for me to cut off my demonic father. I still sent him money from afar but I refused ti talk to him. Men like that are too damaged and you need to remove yourself from such a TOXIC environment. WHEN you leave, work on yourself. Be careful not to replicate that kind of relationship by choosing the wrong man. Men tend to know women who are damaged and they take advantage of them. Find it in your heart to forgive so that you will not be bitter BUT CUT HIM OFF. He is no father to anybody. He just fathered you. As for your mum, that is tricky. Such women don't think twice about sacrificing their own children for the sake of a sham marriage and she is also psychologically damaged. She has been an enabler of your dad's actions and she may not even want to leave him even if you buy her a palace. Give her the option though. If she chooses to stay with him let her. Remember they have lived their life and you are yet to live yours. Be strong and of good courage as the pressure to conform will be great. But for your won sanity and peace of mind FLEE NOW>