A Map for the Misdirected
by Magus Peter H. Gilmore

Various pseudo-Satanic types, typically online (where else?), intentionally misrepresent the
position of the Church of Satan on many issues. Apparently this is in hopes of misdirecting
the gullible. Well, they are welcome to the gullible, but for those of you who are intelligent,
yet new to this “rodeo,” and have questions—here’s the real deal. I will address several significant
falsehoods that have been encountered by myself and our numerous erudite representatives.

The Church of Satan is not “homophobic.” If we were, that would be news to the many hundreds of
our members who define their sexual orientation as “homosexual.” In fact, we are the first organized
Western religion to accept gay and lesbian members. From the very start these members have been
an influential part of our Priesthood and so they continue today. Individuals of superior wit,
accomplishment and indulgence—unlike those who would wish you to believe otherwise, our members
who prefer partners of the same sex (or both sexes) often stand as proud exemplars.

Oh, and don’t believe the “tales from the bewildered” asserting that the Church of Satan has
abandoned our embracing of “Indulgence.” Quite the contrary. Anton LaVey’s watchword was realized
fully in the End-of-the-Millennium Western culture and continues today unabated. We Satanists
drain the cup of life, and, through informed choice and full personal responsibility, handle
the results of our decisions with skill and grace. We ain’t prudes. Neither are we out of control.
The nature of a Satanist is Dionysian, and never forget that one of our root philosophies
is Epicureanism.

The Church of Satan is not a NAZI organization. As has been said many times before, one’s politics
are up to each individual member, and most of our members are political pragmatists. They support
political candidates and movements whose goals reflect their own practical needs and desires.
Our members span an amazing political spectrum, which includes but is not limited to: Libertarians,
Liberals, Conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, Reform Party members, Independents, Capitalists,
Socialists, Communists, Stalinists, Leninists, Trotskyites, Maoists, Zionists, Monarchists, Fascists,
Anarchists, and just about anything else you could possibly imagine. It is up to each member to
apply Satanism and determine what political means will reach his/her ends, and they are each solely
responsible for this decision. Freedom and responsibility—must be a novel concept for those who
aren’t Satanists. We take it in stride. Members who demand conformity from other members to their
particular political fetish are welcomed to depart.

The Church of Satan is neither racist nor sexist. We are equal opportunity haters of most human
animals—recall the “Seventh Satanic Statement.” Misanthropy is our general point of view, and we
don’t exclude any race or either sex from this attitude. We seek to associate with the fascinating
few at the top of the stratification pyramid, and that doesn’t necessarily mean those with the most
intelligence, money, or talent. Many of them may be “damaged goods,” Thanatos-centered creatures who
are incapable of enjoying life and obsessed with quenching the lust for life that enflames we who
are carnal. We don’t care from whence a person comes or what genitals adorn their bodies. We judge
people for what they are individually, their personal achievements, and how they behave, ascribing
nothing to them based on their lineage. They can either succeed or fail in impressing us as humans
who are worth our precious time through their own accomplishments and demeanor. Meritocracy is our
approach, and we have nothing but disdain for people who demand they should be considered worthy of
note simply because they had ancestors who were outstanding. We see these poseurs for the desperate
losers they are, and shun them. And we will also recognize those who fall into herd-behavior
patterns, people who are by nature incapable of personal self-realization. They are to be
avoided whenever possible.

The Church of Satan continues to grow at a swift pace. That does not mean that we have lowered
our standards and take on the religious refuse that wants to get revenge on the world and use
Satanism as a label and excuse for their own bitterness and failure. In fact, with the increasing
numbers of people contacting us, we now turn away a greater number of applicants who are clearly
unsuitable for membership. We are in a position to be picky (we always were) and quite happy to
“pass” on those who would waste our time. It takes plenty of effort just to keep up with those
who do deserve our attention. We are also delighted to clean house and eject members who have
mislead us, who prove to be puffed-up wannabes and contentious cretins, who simply are looking
for an excuse to claim God-hood when they haven’t the talents or abilities to make it in any
field of endeavor. Dr. LaVey would observe how these types often immediately ask about how to
be a part of our Priesthood, but that they couldn’t even be trusted to take out the trash on
garbage pickup day. Good riddance!

The Church of Satan has not in any way strayed from the philosophy created by Anton LaVey and
espoused in his various writings and interviews. We are as we were in the beginning, and we’ve
increased in scope and sophistication. Some misguided individuals (who want to call themselves
Satanists and clearly don’t understand the definition of this term which, let us not forget,
was pioneered by the Church of Satan) currently advocate some sort of New-Age (rhymes with
“sewage”), touchy-feely, “spiritual,” “let’s-all-hug-in-a-big-community,” mish-mash of ideas
masquerading as philosophy. And they want to convince you that this is what Anton LaVey was
REALLY saying until it was recently perverted by those of us who belong to the Church of Satan.
Nonsense. Read his works and you’ll see it just ain’t so. He personally picked the folks who now
represent his philosophy and worked with them for many years as they assisted him in running his
organization—and he was of very sound mind until his death. You “sour grapes” sorts may comfort
yourselves with myths to the contrary, but Dr. LaVey would have nothing but scorn for such delusions.

In The Satanic Bible Anton LaVey says of the seeker, who still wants a “spiritual” path after
encountering real Satanism, that: “He no longer can view himself in two parts, the carnal and
the spiritual, but sees them merge as one, and then to his abysmal horror, discovers that they
are only the carnal—AND ALWAYS WERE!” Anton LaVey NEVER advocated anything “spiritual,” so
disabuse yourselves of this myth. He did advocate exploration of the supernormal—a very different
enterprise. There are many structures that can and do arise from the foundations of the basic
principles formulated by LaVey, and we embrace them in our very diverse organization. However,
if you want to believe in some kind of UFO-cult-oriented blather about discarnate entities, or
any other spiritual mumbo-jumbo, feel free to do so, but don’t be surprised when we who have
defined Satanism point out that you are not Satanists.

The Church of Satan has always looked for knowledge to science, both Western and Eastern. We
call this “Undefiled Wisdom,” and this is the ever-deepening understanding of the nature of
the beast-called-Man and the Universe in which he exists. We don’t accept faith or mysticism.
We demand bedrock knowledge—Understanding—which can come from outward research and observation
as well as carnal intuition. We also acknowledge that people have varied abilities to grasp such
knowledge. Like ability in music or mathematics, you either have the talent to see these things
or you do not—it is not just a matter of effort, but nature. We particularly cherish people who
train their natural abilities and become virtuosos. We’ve explored these domains from the very
beginning of the Church of Satan, and some “multi-cultural” materials were released in The
Satanic Rituals in which Dr. LaVey explained:

    “Satanic Ritual is a blend of Gnostic, Cabbalistic, Hermetic, and Masonic elements,
incorporating nomenclature and vibratory words of power from virtually every mythos.
Though the rituals in this book are representative of different nations, it will be easy
to perceive a basic undercurrent through the cultural variants.”
(Anton Szandor LaVey, page 21, The Satanic Rituals, ©1972)

From its very beginning, the Church of Satan has been exploring this “undercurrent” wherever
it can be traced in all human cultures from all nations and from all periods of history. That
rich legacy, created by our kindred, belongs to us to use as we will, regardless of each
individual’s particular ethnic, racial, or cultural origins. And the exploration continues!

We Satanists are not here to smarten up the rubes. They are welcome to be fooled by “False
Churches of Satan” and get the instant titles they crave (plastic badges spilled from a
gumball machine at a quarter a pop), while knowing in their hearts that these count for
nothing. You get what you pay for. These stunted children playing in a sandbox are desperate
for attention from genuine Satanists. They long for us to welcome them into our midst—a
globe-spanning cabal of dynamic individuals. To such bogus diabolists we say: Well kids,
you’re out of luck. Hold hands and cry, huddle on your e-lists and complain because you can’t
make it along side of the ladies and gentlemen whose accomplishments have merited our attention.
You couldn’t cut the mustard, but your posts prove you certainly can cut the cheese—“This way
out, the street for mine!” You aren’t worthy to lick the dust off of the boots of the productive
members of the Church of Satan—and you couldn’t catch up to them even if you wanted to, as they
are busy working in the real world to make things better for themselves and for real Satanists.
They don’t stop to waste words with their inferiors on newsgroups and in chat rooms—unless some
of them get a kick out of slumming. Some do—there’s no accounting for taste—while others plant
signs to point the way out for those worthy folk who might accidentally stumble upon the flea
circus of alt.satanism and other message boards established by spurious Satanists.

So, here are some words to the curious, new to Satanism, who might want to associate with the
Satanists who made Anton LaVey proud. As our Bunco Sheet warns: If you affiliate with the
pseudo-Satanic, you disaffiliate yourself from the Church of Satan. We do not tolerate
additional membership in groups that have slandered our founder, our representatives, and
our hierarchy, who have infringed on our copyrights and have spread lies about our beliefs
and practices. If you have been ignorant enough to become a member of one of these “special ed.”
mockeries of Satanism, you cannot run with our pack until you separate yourselves from them
and prove yourself to now be wiser. Otherwise, you’re welcome to remain caught in traffic
while stuffed in the back of their short bus. We aren’t ecumenical. We are our own fellowship
—a highly insular one—to which one gains entrance through personal achievement and by having
the proper Satanic nature at birth. Registered membership is easy. But advancing in our
organization is not. You have to be able to deliver the goods. Not many can. Many chicken
out, afraid to test their mettle, and look instead for a quick fix—“instant Satanism.” As the
old commercials used to say: “Don’t be fooled by imitators. Accept no substitutes!”

The whiners can continue to pout with their mantra, “Let’s all work together in one big community,”
but we ain’t buyin’ it. That’s always the cry of the parasite and loser who wants to sucker-in
the productive individuals so they can mooch off their talents and ride on their coattails. We
know that old song and dance and prefer to boogie to far different tunes. And as our
long-established principle is for Lex Talionis, be aware that we delightedly give each
person we encounter what they so richly deserve—justice in action.

You will also note that some of our members who do go online finally decide not to play ball
with these intellectual black holes. They are Epicurean Sadists who say “No” to the masochists
seeking eustress. So the spiteful brats who can’t bear to be ignored at times strike back by
posting personal information about our members and representatives with whom they’re obsessed,
or by stealing the sort of copyrighted material they could never create and illegally transmitting
it (a real crime, folks). If that doesn’t give them away for failures, squealing for attention,
then you might belong in their company. If they had something to offer, something original, they
wouldn’t be using our imagery and names to play the old “bait and switch” game. They’d let you know
up front that they are not offering Satanism as synthesized by Anton LaVey and carried forward by
we who are his chosen successors who maintain the Church which he founded. But they don’t—another
giveaway to their con game. Nothing prevents them from original achievement and earned respect,
save their lack of ability and the fact that they just don’t even bother trying.

To our comrades, the Satanists (we don’t use that term lightly, but as an honorific) who pull on
their hip-boots and gas masks to wade through the fecal online muck, we salute you—you go where
we prefer not to tread. To the posturing pseudo-Satanists, a swarm of gadflies and shit-disturbers,
we say, “What others?” You don’t exist, as far as we are concerned. Now that the rock has been
lifted, these maggots will squirm and writhe, and spew forth more noxious waste. We’ve seen it
all before during our 40 year history, and we’re sure to see this scenario replayed yet again.
Reruns, and of particularly dull episodes of past experiences.

Now back to your boo-hoo-hooing, my little wastrels. Continue to delude yourselves that your
meager online ghettos have something to do with real Satanism. Meanwhile, we who are the genuine
article are off to continue with the grand party that is Satanic life. To the worthy, the invite
is always here. Open it and be welcomed.

Magus Peter H. Gilmore
Copyright © 1999—2006, c.e.

[The author grants permission for Satanists to post this essay on their web sites, so long as nothing is altered and links are made back to www.churchofsatan.com.]



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