❤Eharmony rejection letter funny






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In the two days I was online for free, never heard from him. And there he is, Mister Right. I let my membership to match.
I don't believe it. Maybe that did it for me. Well, I didnt lie, and they accepted me.
Who doesn't feel everything in 30 days. He had watched the Dylan documentary five times. Thanks for all the wasted hours, eharmony. FRANKLY TO YOU ALL READERS, THERE IS NOTING BEYOND HIS POWERS AS HE HAS Glad KINGS AND QUEENS. So I took the test. Then I got an email from some church boy who worked in film. They help us keep the SocialTalent website slick. So, I knew I needed a man with my faith. They said some of my answers were servile. But to comment on the article, judging someone by their profile or being judged by your profile is pretty shallow in and of itself. 
 - I let that expire.
Seven years ago I decided I needed to get over my ex. It had been five months since we broke up, and he managed to meet someone the following week. So I did something I swore I would never do. I tried internet dating. Back then, internet dating felt like a realm reserved for the desperate. Mail-order brides, ex-nuns with facial hair, obese IT nerds who live alternate lives online as robo-cut Japanese animé heroes. But today we do so much over the internet: banking, shopping, heck these days I prefer email to talking on the phone. Why not just try internet dating? I started by taking the eHarmony personality profile which matches you to, as they put it: a highly select group with whom you share things like character, intellect, passion … and up to 24 other dimensions. Dimensions being a new way to market the human character. So I took the test. There were hundreds of questions. Some were hard to answer. Like, I had to choose between: A. I like spending week nights alone OR B. So, 45 minutes and 100s of questions later, identified my 24-dimensional personality. And they rejected me. Alright, so maybe it was the way I answered some of the questions: Like, do you go through mood swings? We do that every month. Or, Does life sometimes seem meaningless? A liar or incredibly shallow. Now, whenever I see those perky couples on eHarmony ads? Men in drag, magician outfits, a guy who looked like Santa Claus on a bender. She begged to talk to me on the phone. I gave her my work number. My office gave her my cell number. I still get calls from Iowa. Lots of interesting, successful, men with mojo. But none of them shared my religious faith. I already tried dating men outside my faith. So, I knew I needed a man with my faith. But all the church boys had NO mojo WHATSOEVER. Finally I got matched with this Christian man who owned a vending machine company. Five seconds into our first phone call, puts his 8-year-old son on the line. Then I got an email from some church boy who worked in film. He seemed fun, but in our first phone call, he talked about his friends like I already knew them. Film: My college roommate. He worked at the White Castle on I-85? Hey, can I read you my screenplay? I let my membership to match. In those ten free days I saw the same guys on line. Men with handles like ShiningArmor, Heart4JesusNYou, MisterRight. I know Mister Right. He went to my church in the 1980s. I never got more than four words out of him. And there he is, Mister Right. How sad is that, to flip back every few months and see that no one wants Mister Right? I took the eHarmony profile again. And, I got rejected, again. They said some of my answers were contradictory. Roommate: Well, to eHarmony, crazy and artist are the same thing. He was hot to meet me, but kept having to go out of the country on business. He seemed cool, but some of his pictures looked a little narcissistic. I saw him at a distance at this wealthy church on Mulholland Drive. A friend dragged me there, I swear. But there he was, the guy from the profile. Christian Café kept stalking me, luring me in with ten free days, then five. Every time, I saw the same men. Two years later, Mister Right was still up for grabs. Third time I took the eHarmony profile, I passed. But had just had an endoscopy and was drugged on Percoset. I got matched with Percoset addicts. I let that expire. Christian Café sent me three free days. This time I lied, and said I always thought life was full of meaning. I got matched with nice Christian mojo-free men who worked in the Air Force or computer sales. A 45-year old Indian physics professor named Sanjee wanted to fast track me. That means, skip the multiple choice questions and go right to the dowry requirements. I said no, I wanted to go through the multiple choice first. Must have a woman who is in excellent physical shape. So, he posted his picture. It was a long shot of a man sitting on top of a Coleman cooler in a weedy back yard. He looked about 60. He stared off in a strange direction, like a Civil War daguerreotype. Maybe he was legally blind. The others I got matched with looked into the camera but had creepy vacant eyes, like the church had stolen their spontaneity. So, that was it for me and eHarmony. People whose answers will always be the same at any given moment. Not us crazy artist types who see life as full of contradictions. It found a profile of a guy who was a writer. On a lark I emailed him, gave him my real email address. In the two days I was online for free, never heard from him. But I did get an email from this other cute guy. But he was 26. My last boyfriend taught me never to date someone so young I could have been his babysitter. About a week or so later, Writer Guy emailed me at my real email address. Over the next four days we emailed each other back and forth a lot. He was my kind of spiritual, he was smart, and mature. Susan: How was it working for Christians? Ooh, he was funny too. Susan: So are you not into church at all? But I do find Him in simple things, with people who get what love and grace are all about. A guy who actually asks you out. Writer Guy: Shit, I leave for Seattle on Thursday, for two weeks. In those two weeks, my lizard brain emerged from its sleep and spoke: Susan, this is The One. And I knew it was true. But then I met him. He was SO NOT The One. He was smaller and skinner and nervous. He wore clogs and had longish wild hair, which he kept running his fingers through. He slouched down into the café sofa as he talked. I admit I liked what he was talking about. He my attention for two hours. The next time he asked me out, he was less guarded, more fun. He seemed taller, sexier. He had watched the Dylan documentary five times. And he let it slip out that he owned a vinyl copy of the Beatles Bootleg Christmas album. I started to feel all squishy inside. Butterflies under my belt buckle. But I once thought that about my last two boyfriends. And BOY was I wrong on both counts. I saw Writer Guy for several months, and he got smarter, funnier, sexier, and more like Jesus every day. He was also full of contradictions. But they passed him on eHarmony the first go. They have way more women on eHarmony than men. Maybe they lower the bar for the guys. Eight months later, Writer Guy and I got married. My lizard brain was right. Except that she might just meet Mister Right. The official eHarmony psychologist was also a guest on the show. He asked if I saw gray areas, contradictions and nuances in life. Of course I did. Creative artists probably see too much nuance and complexity. He told me that was why I got rejected. So people, if eHarmony rejects you, chances are you are complex, artistic, flexible and interesting. Susan performs and speaks at leading conferences, she taught graduate screenwriting at Pepperdine University, and teaches myriad writing and performing classes at Azusa Pacific University. Susan is married and pet-friendly. Make sure to follow along on for regular updates. Loved the story…mirrored most of my own experiences…I was not rejected from EHarmony…maybe because I overthought the questions and realized that they are basically trick questions to see if you conform…But then I have not met anyone who is interested in me in 13months I have been on. Congratulations on finding someone in sync with you. Maybe that did it for me. But to comment on the article, judging someone by their profile or being judged by your profile is pretty shallow in and of itself. God is the Divine Feminine.. The Christian God is a paradox.. It can mean many things depending on the context. The distinction between spirituality and religious belief, is awareness. Spirituality provides awareness, where you know something unequivocally, through experience, epiphany, etc. Which is good, because that often leads to deception. And yet somehow within that light is also love, glorious, and sublime. Imagine being able to look out into the universe, and every universe that exists or existed and seeing every single thing simultaneously. It would be incomprehensible, and quickly you realize the desire to comprehend it is irrelevant. The power and beauty of God is all that matters.. What kind of Christ do you believe in? Perhaps eHarmony concentrates on that type of person so their match rate stays high. All of which makes me wish there were a dating site exclusive to those who have been rejected by eHarmony. I deleted my account immediately and rejected there extortion proposal and that was the most exciting experience of the entire process. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM.. AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY BOYFRIEND NOW HUSBAND CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HER MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL: OR CALL HIM ON: +2348078467513 ONCE AGAIN THANKS TO DR. He can help you cast a spell to get pregnant. He can help you cast a Death Spell. He can help you cast a Promotion spell. He can help you cast Lottery spell. Spell of Finance 7. HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS 9. V Cure , and lot more. I have friends and a family member that suffer with this. BUT ALL I WANT TO SAY TO YOU ALL IN THE WORLD THAT HAVE LOST THE CONFIDENCE TO DEAL WITH SPELL CASTERS ONLINE, AFTER BEEN RIPPED OFF BY SEVERAL SPELL CASTERS BEFORE. I SAY SORRY TO YOU FOR THAT AS I WAS IN THE SAME MESS AS YOU BEFORE, BUT THANKS, HONOR, ADORATION, PRAISES AND A MONTH FULL OF APPRECIATION TO DR AKPE OSILAMA AS HE IS THE ONLY TRUSTWORTHY AND DEDICATED SPELL CASTER THAT HELP ME WITH THE CHALLENGE I WAS PASSING THROUGH IN LIFE. BELOW ARE SOME OF HIS SERVICES THAT I CAN REMEMBER TO MENTION AS I DECIDE TO MENTION SOME OF THEM TO LET YOU READING THIS TESTIMONY ABOUT HOW REAL AND POWERFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY AKPE OSILAMA IS WHEN IT COMES TO SPELL CASTING. FRANKLY TO YOU ALL READERS, THERE IS NOTING BEYOND HIS POWERS AS HE HAS RAISED KINGS AND QUEENS. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TALKING AND GIVING TESTIMONIES ABOUT HIM ONLINE. GET HIM ON HIS EMAIL THAT IS AS FOLLOWS IN-CASE YOU NEED A GOOD TRUSTWORTHY SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU:. Most of the people lie through their teeth when they take the test. I was rejected years ago. It is not only a dating site, but one geared towards finding a match that will eventually lead to MARRIAGE rather than just a few hot months of fun. For instance, if their answers are somehow indicating that their priorities are not likely to make the people they are attracted to also be someone with the qualities that will ultimately make them a compatible match long term. That spoke to me as a pretty good vote of confidence in their success rate, and does a lot to offset the higher cost, as that weeds out many potential matches who were not serious in finding that long term commitment but just wanting to have some fun. They may not return the same volume of potential people to meet, but the quality of those matches they provide is much higher possible lasting commitment potential than those provided by other sites. I think its a great tool for people to actually have to evaluate some of those important values and prioritize them in a realistic way. The thing that became clear to me upon filling out their profile was how many things were likely to be disappointing to me in even the most compatible match possible. Right is not the same thing as that PERFECT match, and will therefore always be dissatisfied due to impossibly high expectations. Unfortunately too, what may be best for us may not be what we really like or are attracted to. It may be that the contradiction in the data is reflected by an attraction to what might not be conducive to commitment or stability. Knowing that they did actually reject some people was what made me check it out in the first place. I found that the people they matched me with were all really interesting and people I think I would definitely have gotten along with but were not my physical type. There were less than ten matches in the whole time though, so volume is not a strong suit. Anyway sorry to hear your bad experiences with the site but at least it led to an eventual happy outcome for you and your husband.