Drawn Together – 301 – Season Premiere


Announcer: Tonight on Drawn Together we’re revealing another TWIST! *The Twist screen comes up*
Xandir: What is going on?
*Drawn Together Theme Song Plays*
*screen goes to Drawn Together House (Outside)*
*then screen goes to confessional*
Ling-Ling:*speaking Japanese with English Subtitles* Subtitles: Today, we are getting a new roommate. I hope they have a black box like the Black Singing Girl.
*Back to house*
Foxxy: Now everyone, we have to act natural when our new roommate comes. Cause if you screw it up I will gut…*goes outside where the truck is blaring with the new roommate inside* *Goes back inside*
Foxxy: …With some jax up yo ass.
Clara: Our new roommate is here! *whispering to self* “Please don’t be Bleh, please don’t be Bleh”
*roommate comes in and it’s Bleh*
Bleh: I Am Sam wants so hard to be adored and admired and for that, you can't help but loathe it, says Robert Wilonsky of the New Times.
Clara: Oh Sh*bleep*
Bleh: Awbleble! Awbleble!
*Captain Hero walks into living room with just Boxers on and a 5 o’ clock shadow*
Captain Hero: Bleh! You came back!
*Captain Hero runs to Bleh and hugs her. Room lights up*
Toot: Why is this retard here? I wanted Rosie O’ Donnell to come!
*Toot In Confessional* Toot: I’ve always wanted to meet someone as fat as me, but you know, that’s never gonna happen. *Puts middle finger against camera in the top corner of room* Toot: F*bleep* you Producers!
*Goes to Foxxy, Bleh, and Xandir Watching TV*
Foxxy: God Dammit, There Is Nothin’ On TV.
Bleh: Abebebe! Abebebe!
Xandir: What The Hell Did She Just Say?
Foxxy: Let’s Ask The Doctor!
*Goes To Bleh, Xandir, Foxxy, and Wooldoor in Wooldoor’s Office*
Wooldoor: I’m going to put a translator in her mouth so whatever she says is translated into the English Language.
*Wooldoor puts the translator in Bleh’s mouth*
Bleh: Ab---*turns into Deep Man’s voice* I would like to eat now. I haven’t eaten in seventeen days.
Foxxy: Holy Sh*bleep*. She hasn’t eaten in seventeen days?
Wooldoor: I better change the voice translator to her voice.
*Changes voice to Bleh’s voice*
Bleh: *in normal voice with translator* Feed Me! Feed Me You Bug-infested Pu*bleep*
Foxxy: Oh ho ho! Foxxy not gonna let you say that about me!
*Starts Catfight With Bleh*
*Next Day: Goes into kitchen where Clara is cooking breakfast for Bleh*
Clara: Bleh, you haven’t said any I Am Sam reviews lately. Is something bugging you?
Bleh: *with voice translator* Yes, you aren’t cooking fast enough.
Clara: Oh My God. It’s A Miracle! Bleh, You Can Speak Real Words now!
Bleh (vt): Uh, Duh!
*Goes into Living Room with Toot, Captain Hero, and Spanky*
*Clara Runs In*
Clara: Guys, and fatty, Bleh can talk!
*They all make positive comments except for Toot, she has a pissed look on her face*
Toot: *In Confessional* Why was that bitch all of a sudden talking? I needed to find out, and there is only one person who would know…
*Goes to Wooldoor’s room*
*Toot pushes Wooldoor into the wall*
Toot: Dammit, why is Bleh talking?
Wooldoor: I do-I don’t kn…
Toot: You F*bleep*ing Baby-eater! Tell Me!
Wooldoor: That Was Only Once! It Was An Accident! I Thought It Was A Baby-Shaped Icing-Filled Cookie!
*Toot Puts Knife Up To Wooldoor’s Neck*
Toot: Tell Me, Or You Die!
Wooldoor: Fine, I put a voice translator in her mouth!
Toot: (In Confessional) I needed her to drool one last time and then I could get her where I wanted her. Mwuahahahahaha. Mwuahahahahahahaha. Muaha-*Throws Up All Over Camera*
Announcer: Coming Up Next on Drawn Together. Toot makes up a plan. Captain Hero is locked in the closet. And Foxxy experiences a near-death experience. That’s Coming Up On Dra-
Xandir: What Is Going On?
Announcer: Dammit! Not Yet! Oh Forget It.
*again* Xandir: What Is Going On?
---------------------Commercial Break (To Be Continued…)--------------------------