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Beyoncé's marriage inspired Nash to compose a song about an issue that affected many people's relationships: the fear or unwillingness of men to commit. Retrieved December 14, 2011. It reached the top 10 in the Netherlands, Italy and Spain, and the top 40 in both Belgian territories Flanders and Wallonia , as well as in Hungary, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland.
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I n 2001, when I was 28, I broke up with my boyfriend. Allan and I had been together for three years, and there was no good reason to end things. He was and remains an exceptional person, intelligent, good-looking, loyal, kind. My friends, many of whom were married or in marriage-track relationships, were bewildered. The period that followed was awful. I barely ate for sobbing all the time. Learning to be alone would make me a better person, and eventually a better partner. On bad days, I feared I would be alone forever. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life? Also see: Earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U. A report on the unprecedented role reversal now under way—and its vast cultural consequences. By Hanna Rosin Though career counselors and wishful thinkers may say otherwise, women who put off trying to have children until their mid-thirties risk losing out on motherhood altogether. The case for settling for Mr. By Lori Gottlieb Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, the author of Why There Are No Good Men Left, on the challenges facing today's single women The author is ending her marriage. Isn't it time you did the same? By Sandra Tsing Loh Marriage used to provide access to sex. Now it provides access to celibacy. Their need is greater, and their condition really deplorable. It comes near to being a disgrace not to be married at all. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. This unfettered future was the promise of my time and place. That we would marry, and that there would always be men we wanted to marry, we took on faith. How could we not? Men were our classmates and colleagues, our bosses and professors, as well as, in time, our students and employees and subordinates—an entire universe of prospective friends, boyfriends, friends with benefits, and even ex-boyfriends-turned-friends. In this brave new world, boundaries were fluid, and roles constantly changing. Allan and I had met when we worked together at a magazine in Boston full disclosure: this one , where I was an assistant and he an editor; two years later, he quit his job to follow me to New York so that I could go to graduate school and he could focus on his writing. After the worst of our breakup, we eventually found our way to a friendship so deep and sustaining that several years ago, when he got engaged, his fiancée suggested that I help him buy his wedding suit. In 1969, when my 25-year-old mother, a college-educated high-school teacher, married a handsome lawyer-to-be, most women her age were doing more or less the same thing. By the time she was in her mid-30s, she was raising two small children and struggling to find a satisfying career. Could she have even envisioned herself on a shopping excursion with an ex-lover, never mind one who was getting married while she remained alone? What my mother could envision was a future in which I made my own choices. I n the 1990s, Stephanie Coontz, a social historian at Evergreen State College in Washington, noticed an uptick in questions from reporters and audiences asking if the institution of marriage was falling apart. She decided to write a book discrediting the notion and proving that the ways in which we think about and construct the legal union between a man and a woman have always been in flux. In her fascinating Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage, she surveys 5,000 years of human habits, from our days as hunters and gatherers up until the present, showing our social arrangements to be more complex and varied than could ever seem possible. For thousands of years, marriage had been a primarily economic and political contract between two people, negotiated and policed by their families, church, and community. This held true for all classes. Two-income families were the norm. Not until the 18th century did labor begin to be divided along a sharp line: wage-earning for the men and unpaid maintenance of household and children for the women. But as labor became separated, so did our spheres of experience—the marketplace versus the home—one founded on reason and action, the other on compassion and comfort. Not until the post-war gains of the 1950s, however, were a majority of American families able to actually afford living off a single breadwinner. All of this was intriguing, for sure—but even more surprising to Coontz was the realization that those alarmed reporters and audiences might be onto something. Last summer I called Coontz to talk to her about this revolution. When it comes to what people actually want and expect from marriage and relationships, and how they organize their sexual and romantic lives, all the old ways have broken down. In 1960, the median age of first marriage in the U. Today, a smaller proportion of American women in their early 30s are married than at any other point since the 1950s, if not earlier. Compare that with 1960, when more than half of those ages 18 to 29 had already tied the knot. These numbers reflect major attitudinal shifts. According to the Pew Research Center, a full 44 percent of Millennials and 43 percent of Gen Xers think that marriage is becoming obsolete. Biological parenthood in a nuclear family need not be the be-all and end-all of womanhood—and in fact it increasingly is not. Today 40 percent of children are born to single mothers. Even as single motherhood is no longer a disgrace, motherhood itself is no longer compulsory. Since 1976, the percentage of women in their early 40s who have not given birth has nearly doubled. A childless single woman of a certain age is no longer automatically perceived as a barren spinster. Like me, for instance. Do I want children? But somewhere along the way, I decided to not let my biology dictate my romantic life. Do I realize that this further narrows my pool of prospects? Just as I am fully aware that with each passing year, I become less attractive to the men in my peer group, who have plenty of younger, more fertile women to pick from. But what can I possibly do about that? Sure, my stance here could be read as a feint, or even self-deception. Over the past half century, women have steadily gained on—and are in some ways surpassing—men in education and employment. A 2010 study of single, childless urban workers between the ages of 22 and 30 found that the women actually earned 8 percent more than the men. Women are also more likely than men to go to college: in 20