Woke up with the mindset to go to church but I'm now very angry so I'm not going to church. I can't go to church with the mood I am in right now. Why are helps so annoying? Like I literally feel like squeezing her eyes out if it's socket but that's not who I am .. I think I'm just too nice. I need to start being maybe wicked?? Or bossy?? Maybe I joke too much with her. Maybe I shouldn't treat her like I'll do my sister and treat her like a help. Maybe I should stop braiding hair myself or sending her to the saloon when necessary with my money. Maybe I shouldn't be doing a lot of things. That way she would know when not to get me angry. I'm so angry I can't even talk to anyone right now as I'll just do transfer of aggression. Let me just stay inside the room until I calm down. Saying sorry like that's suppose to make whay she did go away. I don't get angry .. I hardly do but when I'm angry, everyone feels the wrath of my anger. And I hate when I feel like this