Do you feel alone without your loved ones?
I feel too
I lost my loved one too many years ago, in fact I wasn't even able to distinguish between anything

It's so strange having to live in only memories of someone you loved, someone you hugged, someone who loved you back

Everyday looking at the stars and feeling them and talking with them 

Maybe they could see me but I can't 
Maybe they sat beside me but how would I know?
Maybe the cool breeze hits my face in your presence but how would I know?

Maybe reading this is easy
But feeling this is hard enough to break you down
And what's more hard is when this feeling of getting lost, and the feelings of pain and sorrow hits you

Its very fatal
You keep drowning in your pain and sorrow, sticks with you being a depression or anxiety or stress or panic attack or more fatal

You search a way of escape 
You want to be free
You seek freedom

And I found it 
I found the escape in drugs
I found the love 
I saw you again, I felt your love again, I felt the warmth of your hugs again, I felt the touch of your hands again, You are standing infront of me 

But when I wake up from the high its gone, everything disappears, I just saw you

I know it was the high of drugs, it was the psychological phase of my brain triggered by the drugs 
But even though it wasn't real 
I could feel happy with that
I could have the relaxation with that
I could have my confidence back
I could find many other ways to escape from my pain 
Why is this so confusing and pathetic?

The thing that's gonna kill me is helping me 
Either way its helping me because if I die I get to meet you again 
And If I don't Im still meeting you
I couldn't think any better because no one is gonna take your hand to save you
No one will stick around and say I'm here with you forever 

The words we wanted to hear will not be the one we hear 
The love we needed will not be the one we feel