Hi all. I want to begin this with the notice that this is going to include some Heavy Shit, aka discussion of emotional, sexual, and mental manipulation and abuse, abusive relationships, physical abuse, CSA, and just a whole smorgasbord of Fucked Up. With that, keep in mind your own mental health and do not read this if it is too upsetting for you. You come first. 

So. I'm writing this post today to make you aware of some things of concern done by someone that many of you are familiar with. From knowledge I have gained from conversations with many, my own personal experience, and a variety of other sources, I and many others have come to the conclusion that this person (who uses she/her & they/them pronouns, for reference) is a serial abuser and should be avoided entirely. Please note, I am only talking about what I know to be fact and have proof of. There are many other accusations against this person, but I have not had difinitive proof of them.

I know the moment I say this, everyone on "her side" is going to be up in arms, which is why I am going to bring these points forward before I explain who this is, but hear me out. I have my reasons. Some of which have to remain incredibly vague to protect the identities of those she has abused and hurt. These people, some of which have already been ousted by their social circles, were never abusive like she said they were, and are utterly terrified of people throwing rotten vegetables at them even more.

This person has created the perfect method of abuse. She captures people into her social circle, if they aren't already, and when she is finished with them, she disposes of them, turning them into horrible abusive monsters and makes everyone shun them, even going as far as to her threatening anyone who still speaks with her "abusers." This is 100% NOT to say that people have not abused her in the past, but I am absolutely accusing her of crying wolf with people who have not done many of the things that she claims. She often paints things that she did as if the other person did them.

She also completely ignores boundaries and doesn't ask for consent that any decent person would. Lizzie/lucariwhoa (she/her & they/them) recently visited her, less than a month ago. In a conversation about underwear and dysphoria, she straight up pulled her junk out of her panties and flashed Lizzie; she never asked Lizzie if it was okay. Additionally, she walked around her flat naked without ever asking Lizzie if she was comfortable with that, giving the reason that it is "her own house so [she] can do what [she] wants." This is completely sexual assault in the eyes of the law.

The icing on the cake to this story though is literal physical assault. In the middle of the night, Lizzie and this person were laying down facing each other, twisting Lizzie's head perfectly in her hands as if she were trying to break Lizzie's neck. Yes, you heard that right. This person brushed it off as her having a nightmare. From my research, it is possible for people to have a sleep disorder like this, but it is incredibly, incredibly rare. Even if we give her the benefit of the doubt, and this is indeed a nightmare, this person should seek treatment at a sleep lab with a neurologist for her violent nighttime behavior that could legitimately kill someone if it were to go far enough. From my understanding of Canadian healthcare (where she lives), my work in American healthcare, and social benefits/support, there are ways for someone on benefits to get this kind of care, even on a very limited budget.

She continually broke the boundaries her partners had set up for her. Stating to myself and many other people that we were doing was okay with her partners, but in reality, was not. Her partners setting boundaries (which are normal in any relationship and incredibly important in polyam ones), were seen as abusive to her, holding her back from what she really wanted, and she would throw tantrums if she didn't get her way. She forced people into her polycule, until her other partners obliged against their will.

She continually will act 100% okay with someone to their face and be completely different to other people about them. For example, Lizzie, Noelle (she/her; @shesmol), and her were at a concert. She was kissy and kind and flirty with Noelle to her face, but as soon as Lizzie dropped Noelle back off at home, she completely changed face and was sighing about how awkward it was to be kissy/flirty/etc. with Noelle.

Additionally, to my own face and to the face of others, she has been transphobic towards trans-masc/masc nb identifying individuals. Often times, she will frantically freak out at the mention of top surgery but interject her own pregnancy kink without warning into conversations, which to myself and many others, is incredibly dysphoria inducing. She screams about how trans masc people have inherent male privilege, though many of us, including myself, are not recognized by society as anything close to male. She even has gone as far as to saying that trans people are "afraid" to allign themselves masculinely because people have an inherent fear of masculinity, completely disgregarding transmasc/transmale/trans enby folks, and the fact that gender is not a choice.

This person is Lavender, aka @dragonpupp aka @dragonlayer_ aka (currently) @lavendragon_. Many of you know her. Many of you have cut ties with her. Many of you are still friends with her.

Please, if you are currently being sought after by this person, I am warning you for your own good. It will not end well. At minimum, you will be kicked out of Lav's life. At a median, you will be socially ostracized and your friends will have to choose between you or Lavender. At a maximum? Lavender will accuse you of emotional/physical abuse and/or assault. 

Lavender WILL gaslight you. Even with things you have actual proof and receipts of. She will gaslight you into thinking that your truth is false and build her own truth in your mind. Lavender is an incredibly dangerous individual. If anything about the number of partners and the manner in which she has gone through them says anything, it will not end well for you.

There are whisperings of her having raped people, but I myself have not had any of my sources discuss this with me, so I will leave it as stating there are whisperings.

Lavender also has previously dated someone who is 15 when she was 20. It was only due to her previous partners insistance that she backed out of the non-public relationship with this minor. At one point before Lavender remade her accounts and back when we were still talking, she admitted to me and many others that she had sexual relations with her younger sister when the sister was around 8 and Lav was around 14. The degree of these, I do not know, but all I know is that sexual touching did happen.

If you choose to continue to look after Lav, be on her side, support her? You are supporting a serial abuser. I will block you on Twitter. You have means to communicate with me on Telegram, which is linked on my profile pinned tweet.

You are NOT to approach anyone who I have mentioned in this, specifcally Lizzie, directly. She already is terrified enough coming out about this, and I am offering to take the brunt of it for her. If you do approach her, she will direct you to talk to me.

Lavender is obviously going to try to slander me (and Lizzie and anyone I am close to). I expect it. She's going to get into your heads and convince you that I'm not worth listening to. So be it. I have nothing to lose.

With that, I leave a lot of information for you to process. Again, if you continue to support Lav, I feel sorry for you that she has you that tightly in her grasp. The best thing to do is just block her everywhere and accept the fact she will try to slander you, but if more people understand that she is going to say bad things just to cause a riot, then the less seriously people will take her. In all, it will not end well. Choose wisely. Good luck.