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Speed dating, Tinder and ‘leftover women’: the changing face of love and loneliness in Hong Kong - It is not uncommon to run into frauds posting fake information.
Millions of Chinese are heading home this week for the Lunar New Year holiday, a time that should be among the happiest for people across the country; however, for those who remain single, parental expectations can make it a stressful one. With only a short time left before the holidays, there is no time to waste. Li Jian, a 29-year-old bank manager, was among the 32 single men and women gathered at a nondescript cafe in the southern Chinese city of Shenzhen for a recent speed-dating event hosted by a local company called Little Dates. Li has precisely eight minutes to check out each potential mate, and is optimistic that, by the end of the four-hour exercise, he will walk away with one. So now that his maternal grandmother is in her nineties, he is making a more serious effort. Likewise, 36-year-old engineer Yu, who does not want to reveal his full name, says family pressure to get married is so intense that returning home for the upcoming holidays is a difficult proposition. The search for a perfect match is not limited to single people. Like Chiu, many parents have similar worries over the relationship status of their children. The online dating segment, in particular, is growing quickly as an increasing number of single people, especially millennials, look to the internet for love. Although there are Tinder-like apps such as Momo and Tantan, casual dating is frowned upon in China. And single people, under heavy social pressure to marry, have little time to waste before settling down. Marry U, for one, asks registered users to choose when they expect to tie the knot — within six months, a year, or two at most. Most apps earn revenue by charging a monthly rate or an application fee. However, scrutinising an endless scroll of dating profiles to find the perfect match can be tedious, so companies sensing a business opportunity now also offer tailored services. The largest Chinese dating site, Zhenai. Jiayuan, a rival matchmaking site, refines the profiles of paid members, but to the extent that they sound too good to be true. Chiu Ngat How well these services work is questionable. One woman reportedly asked Zhenai for a refund after she paid more than 100,000 yuan and met six candidates, but was still not able to find the man of her dreams — a millionaire. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, however, and many single people are willing to pay such sums to find love. Aside from matchmaking, these sites also offer online classes in which so-called professionals coach people on social and flirting skills. It is not uncommon to run into frauds posting fake information. Last year, an operator of an app based in the southern Chinese province of Guangdong was reportedly raided for swindling 300 million yuan by creating fake accounts of female users with sexy profile pictures. Using these accounts, the company sent automated messages to hit on male users, charged them money to continue the conversation, and cajoled them into buying gifts. Speed dater Li Jian Another matchmaking site, in the eastern Chinese province of Anhui, went to even greater lengths before being shut down by authorities last year. It charged 2,599 yuan for a three-month membership, then got employees to pose as potential partners, text users online and go out with them on dates. Since the quality of candidates affects the reputation of the companies behind such apps, some are designed to rigorously filter out scammers. Despite the convenience of meeting people digitally, offline group dating events remain popular — and they take many forms. Some are co-organised by companies to help employees hook up. Others are organised to get together hundreds of single people from the same province. Still others are spin-offs of the popular Chinese television dating show If You Are The One, and invite participants onto stage to show off their talents. Dress codes also vary. One event, held at a water park in Beijing, caused controversy for requiring all the participants to wear orange bikinis or swimming trunks. Event organisers may also have high expectations of participants. Little Dates enforces real-name verification. Yet there is no guarantee that even the most sophisticated filter system will weed out bad dates. At the speed-dating event, a 43-year-old divorcee is frank about what he means when he says he expects his next partner to be family-centred. Back in Lianhuashan Park, the search continues for Chiu Ngat. The chances of success are low, the mother admits. From what she has learned, there were only six successful couplings in the park last year. But with her daughter nearing 40, she will take that chance over finding no one at all.