>be at subway >walk in, stand in line, never make eye contact >girl asks what I want, I'm pretty sure she's a qt but I didn't look at her >"I want a roast beef" >"What kind of bread do you want"? >"I already said roast beef." >Trying to sound alpha by making my voice unnaturally low >It comes out all husky and wavering, not what I hoped for >she says "ooooooook" >starts making my sandwich on white bread >I really wanted wheat but too beta to say anything >Try to play it off by leaning on the counter trying to look really cool and comfortable >"hey, I just cleaned that glass!!! I'm gonna have to charge you extra now!" >looking back, she was just joking around and trying to be fun >didn't realize it at the time though >cross my arms looking at the ground angrily, start clearing my throat really hard >the workers are looking at me and giggling now >try to frown and furrow my brow, they can't know my true anxiety >OK what kind of veggies would you like? >I only want a few veggies, too shy to go over the whole thing though >I'd rather just take off what I don't like at home >Pull up my gaze and look her straight in the eyes >cross my eyes a little though so she looks blurry and I can't really tell I'm making eye contact >in my deepest, most clint eastwood type voice I anxiously grumble "I want EVERYTHING" >at this point the whole back line is laughing at me >I turn away from them and cross my arms across my chest, gazing out the front windows >she calls over my shoulder, "Everything?" >my energy is spent, I stand there and say nothing >hands are shaking, sweating now >I feel my alpha ruse is beginning to wear thin, I quickly turn around and storm to the cash register >Slam a 20 on the counter so they can hear it, then get scared and try not to look at anybody >somebody rings up my order, hands me $5 something back in change >"Oh, I can't remember did you give me a 10 or 20? >"KEEP THE CHANGE I growl, but my voice cracks twice >Actually poor >paid $15 for a sandwich