I AM ME AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE ME.
Brothers in Islam, let us fear Allah in the way and manner we deal with our women.
Let us not maltreat them. Many married women are crying silently because of the injustices of their men.
The Prophet, sollaLohu 'alaihi wasallam said the best of men are those who treat their women with kindness. Let us not apply the provision of Q4:34 upside down.
We must note that women by their instinctive nature are hard to handle.
Ordinarily, if Allah did not make us leaders over them, we can't handle their difficult nature. It is only Allah Who placed them under our supervision for orderliness and He would question us about it on the Day of Judgment.
The Prophet, sollaLohu 'alaihi wasallam had taught us how to deal with women going by their nature of creation. The hadith about the rib makes it clear that it is rare to find a "perfect wife" and in the same manner, no woman should expect to find the "perfect husband".
The husband and wife must manage each other's deficiencies wisely and diplomatically. They must also be ready to improve in their areas of weaknesses.
It is very very improper for someone to say: "I am me, nothing can change me and I need a man or woman that would like me the way I am". What if your weak areas are so bad and can earn you Allah's wrath? Would you like to remain like that forever and die the death of jaahiliyyah?
Lest I forget, women are also warned to desist from insulting their husbands (publicly or privately).
Many ladies are tormenting their men privately. But in public, they are the best pretenders. Many young ladies of this generation do not want to accept their men's authority in the matrimonial home and this is causing frictions that often lead to divorce.
Western influence is deceiving many of our women to think that they are equal to men in terms of the authority in the home
The Prophet, sollaLohu 'alaihi wasallam gave a pragmatic advice to Muslim women when he said:
"When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish." (Ibn Hibban; and ruled as Sahih per Al-Albani)
Let us be careful and respect each other's rights, duties and obligations. Allah says in the Quran:
"...And (as for) those (women) from whom you anticipate rebellion, admonish them, avoid them in the sleeping place and hit them. If they obey you, do not desire and further way to (harm) them. Surely, Allah Knows, Great." [Q 4:34].
Apart from protecting our women from lustful gaze of men in public and unlawful interactions with strange men, a Muslim wife has the right not to be beaten by her man, except in the case of nushuz (rebellion against the husband's authority).
Even in this case, the husband is only allowed to "strike" her in a way that would not harm her, like using a cap. Some men are in the habit of beating their wives, this is against Islamic injunctions. It is never lawful for men to strike their women on the face or inflict on them any bodily bruise or injury.*
The "wadhribuhuunna" in the relevant Quranic verse does not mean the kind of beating we see these days. Some men are just wicked and hot tempered. It is unfortunate that many men don't read the Quran to know the implications of their dangerous acts in the shari'ah.
Please be patient with her.
May Almighty Allah help us All(Ameen)
[10:44 PM, 1/30/2017] Muritala Funaama: A woman asked a mufti : "What should I do to my kids to wake them up for Fajr due to their heavy sleep?"
The mufti said: "What will you do if there is a fire in the house and they are sleeping ??"
She said : "I'll wake them up."
Mufti replied: But if their sleep is heavy ??
She then said: " By Allaah ! I will wake them up or I will drag them by their necks."
The Mufti then said: "If this is what you are going to do to save them from the fire of the dunya then do the same to save them from the blazing fire of the hereafter...!"
May Allah guide us all!
