When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Enjoy some illustrated Short Stories from Mark Twain; click to read.
