If you want to leave a good impression, you don't have to make sure all eyes are on you. Here are some tips anyone can use in any social setting. Look, even the most misanthropic of us and those of us with the least self-esteem can be interesting when we get going on a topic we're passionate about, or we're talking to someone we genuinely find interesting. The key is to find those great conversations and let the interest come naturally without having to force it. To do that though, you're going to have to for a while. You've seen inspirational quotes that encourage you to get out and do something… The first thing you'll have to do, obviously, is show up and talk to people. But the main thing is to show up. She means be adventurous, try different foods, engage strangers in conversation. Hagy's description is pretty apt. While no one is going to actually claw or hiss at you, social situations carry enormous stress, and even those people who do well in them can struggle in a room full of people they don't know. Whether you're there with one or two people you know, or don't know anyone else in the room, your first step is to just show up. It just means that you leave a good impression on the people you interact with, and in turn, those people had a good conversation with you. Now's the time to break out those skills. Make a circuit of the room, or if it's a dinner party, try something new or interesting on the table that you've never tried before. As Hagy mentioned, stepping out of your comfort zone may be tough, but it instantly gives you something to talk about should you need to. Your first goal is to be an observer of people you find interesting. When you find them and engage them, you're almost sure to be interesting yourself. Before you start talking though, it's important to just listen, even if you fancy yourself a good storyteller. If you approach a group of people who are already discussing a topic, watch their body language and see if they reposition themselves to open their conversation to you and give you a place to stand. If they don't, move on. If they do, just listen for a while and let the conversation flow naturally. If you have an opportunity to say something, go for it, but don't manufacture a reason. The first step to that is to listen to people's stories, and. Plus, if you're the type of person where just showing up and being around people is draining enough, listening is a good way to participate without spending your precious, precious willpower. Make a mental game plan of conversation starters and prompts that will serve you well. You don't want to script conversations before you go out, but you should keep a couple of things in your pocket to keep the conversation going, or questions to ask if it stalls out. The former is always a good opportunity to talk about your host and how the two of you know them, which can move into a solid conversation about other topics work, school, hobbies, or whatever else comes up. Hagy specifically suggests the latter though as a way to talk not so much about the trip itself, but where the other person is from, what part of town, where they're staying if they're in from out of town, and so on. Our friends , like remembering to pay a compliment to someone's dress, choice of food, drink, or even their chosen topic of conversation. Nothing is more disarming than a genuine compliment, and most people, when paid one, will be happy to talk to someone who's actually nice to them, even if the only thing you have in common is how awkward you both are. It's not hard—just don't get caught up in filling every gap with a question, and don't be afraid of silence. A little interest goes a long way. While we've mentioned question in the past, sometimes it's appropriate, especially if it's a professional gathering or one where you're curious about others' line of work. If you just had a great discussion on climate with someone at a party, learning they're a climatologist can open the door to even more interesting discussions. Awkward silences are part of conversing with people. Don't be afraid of them, or rush to fill them. If there's a pause or a lull in the conversation, let it run its course. If you want to disengage, a lull is always a good time to stop by the bar or grab a drink. If you want, offer to bring one back for the person you were speaking with. Otherwise, just say you're going to grab another drink or something to eat, and find another group to converse with. Just quickly turn around and say, 'This souffle is magnificent and you have to tell me all about it. Saving the day with a compliment—especially one that leads into a discussion—doesn't just get the conversation going again, it certainly makes you the memorable one in a good way, of course. If you catch yourself struggling to keep a conversation going, or wondering what you should say next, or overthinking the entire affair and stressing out, take a few deep breaths and relax. Remember what we said about leaving your comfort zone—it's a depa
