I wouldn't be so hard on the moms who wish their daughters' relationships would end. We don't know that they show their disapproval to their daughters. Parents can't help what they feel, any more than their daughters can. They may be acting out of fear, but parents don't have a duty to support everything a child takes it into her head to do, if they are afraid their daughter is going to be hurt. But I think showing parental disapproval usually just drives the child further into their lover's arms. Hi, I am 25, and I am dating a 46 year old man. Woman dating older men get looks like you wouldn't believe. Mind you I am 25, and there are times after working out, where I look 18 - so I understand. I used to get offended, as there was one time I was on my way to New York with my boyfriend, and we were riding a shuttle to the airport. A couple sitting across from us were whispering not knowing I have impeccable hearing about us, wondering if we were together. I heard them say, well he has darker features than her, but look at how she has her hand resting on his leg. I understand people are curious. And I don't blame them. Did I purposely seek out an older man? Did he purposely seek out a younger woman? I went to my current boyfriend, and he did my taxes, and that was it. We talked forever - and then started a friendship. That friendship led to me helping him with accounting audits, and etc. Then we started going for drinks. Then we started going to dinners - not once did he put the moves on me, or was disrespectful in any way. I would say the opposite of a creep. It wasn't until I basically signaled, that it's okay to flirt, and yes you can kiss me. This whole time I was NOT thinking of my parents. To be honest, I had no idea where this was going. I just figured it was too early to tell. We cut to about a year later... This is after we decided not to see other people, and I've been staying at his place A LOT. I thought of what it would be like to tell my 57 year old father that I was dating someone 20 years older than me.... Now my father is not the type of father that will be rude, and get sassy when told something he doesn't want to hear... Oh, this is the worst kind of father to have - and he gives looks, very sneaky looks. But also, my father knows that I am an intelligent human being. Let's cut 5 years ago to my ex boyfriend - 2 years old than me.... I was 22 at the time, and he was 24 - I started dating him in College, and he was good looking guy, met through mutual friends. Now, I obviously enjoyed this AT TIMES, but not all the time. He was content with his job as a barber the rest of his life - which was fine if that was his passion, but he didn't seek anything but doing the same everyday. Any time we would go to his house with all my friends, and his friends, he would rave about how much fun it was. Well, 2 years into the relationship, I was on complete denial that he didn't feel the same way about me, as I did him. It was my best friends wedding the upcoming weekend, and he was supposed to take off work as I reminded him about 3 months in advance. He said he forgot - which fine, just drive seperate it's only a 2 hour drive , and meet me there for not the wedding, just the reception. The day of the wedding, I have this feeling like he's not coming, because he never shows up. All of my friends would say, you get so sad because he doesn't come to ANYTHING, and all you do is sit at his apartment - not even with him, with him and his roommate... I couldn't have an intellectual conversation with this kid to save my life. So, cut back to being with my current, older boyfriend, that respects me, that shows up for me, that I can have a great conversation with, who pushes me to be better in every way, a person I trust, that wants the best for me, and at any point in time I really need someone - he is there, and I get this feeling, this amazing feeling when I am with him... You think if my parents are going to tell me that I need to be with someone younger? I'm going to tell them, take a look at my recent life example. I was with a guy 2 years older than me, and it didn't work out.. So this was all going through my head before talking to my parents - and the good parents that they are, they have their concerns. I did this very carefully, so first my brother moved to the city where I am. I had my brother start getting to know my current boyfriend, and he ended up loving him. They started hanging out on their own. I told him I had concerns about telling my friends. He makes you happy - then your friends will be happy for you. You are smart, and driven, and you had a good head on your shoulders, if this is who you love, and this is who you want to be with, you can't think about age. You are an adult. He is an adult. So just BE happy. That's all that matters. I never knew this until now, but one of my best friends, her parents are 19 years apart, still married, and happy. I remember how much heart ache you went through in your last relationship. This is so different. You spend time together, he's very smart, and you can tell that he really cares about you. We all went out for live music and drinks, and my Dad now wants to go golfing with him. Once we left the restaurant, he raved that he was such a nice guy... Now my next move, is to invite him over to my sisters... I still get a little nervous thinking about bringing him to Christmas dinners. Now, I am comfortable kissing him in public, holding his hand, without people staring. This is me, and I am happy. I do wonder what my life would be life if we got married, as he as two kids already, and crazy ex wife crazy is an understatement , and I would like kids of my own. I do go on facebook, and look at girls my age marrying their partner that is their age... But I AM HAPPY. And I don't care how old he is - he's sexy to me, funny, charming, intelligent, hard-working, successful, has a beautiful heart, and that is what I want in someone I love, and want to spend time with... Now there are many battles when it comes to dating someone older. You want to find things you can experience together that is new for both of you. My older boyfriend has more life experience, so there are times I have to remind him of that. If anyone is interested in hearing about some of the struggles I had to overcome, or some of the uphill battles we face when dating an older man, let me know. I am sure this is so long that I have more everyone to tears at this point.. Is he having a midlife crisis? Does he need some eye candy to make himself feel better? Is he looking to reconnect to his youth? Does he not even realize that the young girl is old enough to be his daughter? Why date a 19 year old? It's very strange that someone would date someone that age 19 since it is the youngest age an adult can date without getting arrested? With the younger girl, I wonder if she is looking for a sugar daddy or for some sense of security. Did she not get the love she needed from her father in adolescence,and she is unconsciously looking for an older man to provide it? I've recently heard a rule of thumb that a person should date another person no younger than half their age plus seven. Maybe some people go by it so they can connect with someone close to their generation. I'm 21 and I'm dating a man that is 29 years older than me. At first I was afraid to admit it but the fact that we are dating but why should I be ashamed but why should I be ashamed of the guy that I'm with. He is attentive to my needs and very caring. He is the kindest sweetest man that I know. We have a great deal in common and have the greatest conversations. He opens doors for me and even puts on my seat belt scared me at first but when a guy treats you like you should be treated why not be with him? My parents know of him but don't know his age and have never met him. I haven't met his family either but we aren't on that level yet still getting to know each other. SO far things are great and I'm almost sure things will be even better. It made me feel so good to know that I'm not the only one that is dating someone out of her age bracket and I hope and pray that you guys relationship continues to prosper. Have fun and don't worry about what someone else thinks gonna take my own advice. He is the best thing that has happened to me. I want to introduce him to my parents, but i know my mum will freak, and i dont know about my father. How did you bring the conversation up about you havig an older boyfriend? I am the same with my man, we want to have a life together, but family is important to me he knows that , but i will not give him up so my family can wear a smile... Any help is appreciated! I want my parents to meet him someday, but my mom is a complete control freak, and i feel that i will be shunned out of the family if i bring home a guy 20 years older than me... My parents are split... I think dad would be ok with him... Not at first but after, i think he would like him... You wrote a very good post, and i have so nuch respect for you. Because of you, i have gained som confidence, but still not enough. We have only ben dating 3 months, but he is like something i have never felt before. Let me know what you think please and thank you. Cheers Amen to the guest that said older dudes just want the fresh sex. All you young ladies PLEASE think TWICE, or even THRICE, before committing to someone much much older I'm talking 15-20+ years older. Here's an 19 year old who , at the time being 18, had sex with, nearly committed to and almost ran away and married a 43 year old scumbag who had me brainwshed. Thank god for my mother for snapping me out of it, as he turned hostile and psychotic in trying to get me back. I am traumatized to this day. Please please PLEASE ladies you are much to young and beautiful for someone to use you in this way. I am very concerned for all of you honeys please make smart choices! Hello, I'm dating a man 11 years older, different race, and 4,077 miles away I understand being concerned. She will always be that little girl to you. My mother is my best friend and not matter how old I get she will always say I'm her little girl. Yes, she's concerned as well. That's how I know she cares. If your daughter is like me, mom's support is the biggest thing. That's why it's hard to tell mom's about this. She doesn't want to hurt you. She just happened to fall in love with a man of a different age. I don't mean to upset you I just ask that you think about your child's relationship with an open mind. Now, forget about the age and other physical faults. Does he hurt her? Is your daughter happy? How much are you letting this bother you? Could you give him a chance to prove himself? Can you give their relationship a chance to prove itself? If you never give him a chance, you'll hold onto this as long as they date. So, think about it. It'd mean a lot to her. Its peace at mind for everyone in this situation. I'm 20 dating a 38 yr old, this is my first relationship so telling my parents I have a boyfriend is a big deal, telling them he's 18 yrs my senior, not sure how thats gonna go down. I met him at work and all of our collegues have been really supportive, all of my friends have been supportive too, my sister included. Just have my parents to tell, theres 8 years between my parents which isnt quite 18 but still a fair gap, just wondering how did you go about telling yours? Would you do anything differently? Ive never been interested in guys my age before, with my BF i feel like i'm dating someone the same mental age and its so good to be on the same wavelength, I just hope my parents will be happy for me My boyfriend met my mother for the first time a few weeks ago, and it was only for about 20 minutes, because she lives three hours away, but she was in town for her doctorate class and swung by before the three hour drive back to my hometown where she lives with my step dad. The holidays roll around, and my boyfriend's kids are traveling with their mom, so I took my boyfriend 20+ years older than me , to my family Christmas, to meet my mom for the second time, and my step dad for the first time. I was a little nervous because my step dad can be a sarcastic bullhead at times, but he typically is pretty pleasant yet witty. In fact, I found out on the drive there when I called my mother they picked out an unique Christmas gift for my boyfriend. That's my parents for you - coincidence, or wittiness? Of course before my boyfriend getting there, my mother asked if I would be staying in the same bedroom, as she wasn't sure of my routine at my apartment. I said of course we sleep next to each other at times, but considering it was her home I wanted to be respectful, so I asked her what she was comfortable with... Anyways, I put my stuff in one guest room, and left the guest room across the hall for my boyfriend. On Christmas eve, my boyfriend drove up with my brother - as they are pretty good friends now. As soon as my boyfriend got there, he hugged my mom and gave my stepdad a nice handshake. We sat across from one another chatting, and of course I am analyzing my step dad, trying to read his thoughts, with no luck of course... My boyfriend and I got in a heated discussion.. I was telling him how he needs to create a marketing strategy to generate new business, and not just rely on word of mouth - although it's very effective. I know he can increase his clientele by 15% this coming tax season, but of course he's stubborn. I know he can steal part of the market- his business wasn't even on Google Plus. Just by being on Google plus and tagging every word that has to do with tax or accountant, he can get so many hits. My mom observed as we went at it... I think that's when my step dad realized that we were perfect for each other. The night was full of great conversation, wine, laughter, poker, and genuinely interesting conversations. I ended up sneaking across the hall and sleeping in bed with my boyfriend. Unfortunately that is when I found out that the bed squeaks quite a bit... That morning I got up early, and ended up having to help my mom chase my brother's dog down because she escaped from her leash. Enticing a beagle to come back after seeing a rabbit is extremely challenging. The only thing that would be a concern is that you may not have as much in common as you would with someone your age, but it seems like you have quite a bit in common with your current boyfriend despite the age difference and I can definitely see that you complement each other very well. The part about coming the see the family is bonus points is somewhat of a joke because my previous boyfriend, only 2 years older than me, I dated for 3 years, and he NEVER came home to Defiance with me. The last time I invited him for my best friends wedding in my hometown.. So the end all... Would I rather be with someone that is amazing, treats me with respect, and makes me extremely happy? And he happens to be 48. Reply if you want to hear about relationship talk about dating an older man.. Sorry for the grammatical errors I dated a man 20 years older than me at one point. I told myself I would never do it again because the age difference was so hard to deal with. Years have passed and I couldn't connect with anyone. Something always seemed to be missing from my life. Part of me was guarded and hurt and couldn't move on. Finally, this man I meet I fall madly in love with. He has been incredible. And yes I can't help but feel so lucky. It wasn't about the sex. He tried initially and I wasn't ready and he totally respected that. He never tried to push me until I wanted to. I knew he was older, but I didn't know how much older. Quite frankly, I didn't care at the time. I wanted to get to know him and his connect with on a deeper level. He tried to ask me on a few occasions about his age and I didn't want to know. Finally when the time was right, I found he was 30 years older than me. Neither of us anticipated on falling in love with eachother, but we did. There is nothing better when love is reciprocated. We know the challenges and yes, this scares both of us because we both are always worried what others think. But I also know most married people don't experience in all of their years of marriage, what we experienced. True love is hard to find. He's even tried to say he wanted to stop this to be fair to me because he loved me that much, but I told him this is my decision. It's not fair and sure isn't what we perceive it to be. Love can conquer all if we allow it. It's going to have its challenges and I'll lose friends along the way, but at the end of the day I'm coming home to someone who loves me as much as I love him. Im 18, im dating a 24 year old. Im absolutely crazy about him. I never set on going after an older guy, as most peoples stories it just happened. My parents found out today and freaked. They want me to end it but thats not what i want, i love him to pieces and if they try force this on me i'll never forgive them. I love my parents but i also want to choose my own paths in life. The problem is i live at home, im currently in the process of finding an apartment, they are trying to stop me seeing him. My father has an explosive temper, however my sister was in the exact same situation as me a few years ago. My auntie and sister is supportive as there is the same age gap between their husbands. What do i do in this situation?? Im 18 and in my country thats considered an adult i can drink vote etc.. How do i tell them that im not ending it they cannot force me? Helpless, that isn't that much of an age gap, really. My parents married in the 1950s and there was a 7 year difference; my mom was almost 20. But maybe you just have very protective parents, and you are just 18. I guess in time it really won't matter. At least I hope so, if he's a really good man. It had never really worked out with guys my own age. He was more settled - but still fun.
