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I state the above to Havoc. He laughs. One by one, the entire group leaves the table. Victory is ours. Fat girls next to us...
Fat Girl: "Don't mind us, we're gonna be really loud."
I just give her the same 'you're stupid, don't talk to me look.' that I'm known for. I can't believe, wait, let me roll my eyes in the back of my head and stick my nose in the air. Now I'm ready...
Me: "I can't believe that she would have the AUDACITY to speak to me."
Fedora and his visiting brother, Fiji, arrive. Quiet guy, he is. You know Fedora is drunk when...
Fedora: "Hey fatty, get away from the stage!"
Me: "Her friends are right next to us!"
We look at each other...
Fedora and I : "Hahahahaha!"
Oh, wait, we're suppose to care about things like feelings, right? OSU scores...
Fatty Number Two: "Hey, tap that guy on the shoulder."
And her friend taps me...
Fatty Number Two: "High five!"
Get those fucking fat snausage fingers away from me! Who do these fat girls think they are talking to me!? I thought I was out of the fat girl league. These girls are bold.
Fuck. We need an extra chair. Guess I'll have to go get one...
Fiji: "There is no way that you're going to be able to get a chair from anyone. This place is packed."
Me: "Apparently, you don't know who I am. Do you see that group of girls downstairs?"
Fiji: "Yeah."
Me: "Watch this."
I run down stairs. Smile. Look pretty...
Me: "Do you girls think I could borrow a chair from you?"