Let's adress the elephant in the room
the Binding of Isaac is a dope game. Love it or hate it, a lot of people hate it. Not me though, it's a very fun, random, unfair thing to waste your time with- and if you are reading, you probably like it too.
So we have been blessed with the Afterbirth expansion, which added a whole new game mode, items, interesting characters and etc. What did Afterbirth give us (or didn't)? Stuff. Just keep reading.
Character
It adds one more character, Apollyon.That guy right there. Looks dope, doesn't he? He isn't. He has two heart containers, nothing special, and starts with lower stats than Isaac.
"What the heck!", you may exclaim, "That sounds horrible!"
Yes, it is, but what defines a character isn't its stats, it is its item. Judas has one heart container, however he carries the book of belial. Samson has low damage, but it increases the more he gets hit. The Keeper suffers from his heart container restriction, but he has a wooden penny... Wait, that's the example we're using? The wooden penny?
Apollyon has void, an item which consumes items on pedestals and gives him a stat increase instead. That's it.
"But isn't the stat increase worth it?"
It's about 0.5. Oh, but don't call just yet, there's more! It can also decrease one of your stats. Sounds good, doesn't it?
"Well actually yes, I can see some scenarios where I'd rather risk a status boost than a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ item"
Yes, but that's the new character. "Some scenarios". He ain't special, he ain't interesting and he sure ain't pretty. You think after so many abusive comments he'd at least cry more tears, huh?
Items
This expansion adds 68 new items. Sounds like a lot, eh? What if I told you I wrote a story with one hundred pages. Sure, most of the words are adjectives and yes, I used the biggest font I could find. But I did it.
Here's a list of some of the items you won't even notice we're added:
Belly Button: It gives you one trinket upon being picked up and lets you carry one other trinket. So basically mom's purse, but now with a trinket. Like a condom, but this one tastes like strawberries. You can't say it's worse than the other one.
Polydactyly: Lets you carry two pills, cards or runes (or a combination of any of those). Yeah, we have some items that do the same, but not as good as this one! By the way, "polydactyly" is the term used for an extra finger. So if you have six fingers on your hand, you have polydactyly. I guess this one must be a middle finger right up our ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s.
Moldy Bread: It grants you one heart container. WHY ANOTHER ONE OF THESE, YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP ADDING FOOD ITEMS.
By looking at these three items you can say that the rest is just as bad, no need to check the wikia to make sure.
Challenges
This expansion adds five more challenges. They're usually hard, only a few are actually fun, no surprise. I won't describe them here, perhaps you want to "discover them for yourself". Either that or I'm just too lazy to do it myself.
Now allow me to go into further detail as to why it sucks: The items you get as rewards. Three of them just give your characters another starting item. Magdalene gets a pill, Samson gets a trinket (Child's heart, to be exact) and Lazarus bleeds more. Yes, bleeds more. If you're a masochist, go ahead, spend some time with the challenges for virtually no reward.
Ultra greedier
After searching for an image to place here, I noticed that many animes, card games and games use the idea of the seven deadly sins. Why, though? It's not that innovative and they'll always forget one sin, so it'll be like
"Yeah, wrath is a fire demon who crushes souls."
"What about pride?"
"Um... Make it a woman, we forgot to add one, now the feminists won't call us sexist."
"And what part of her character will show the viewers that she's the sin of pride?"
"Put a huge sign on her back that reads: Proud to be a woman."
"Sir, I don't think that's a smart idea."
"Apparently you are the sin of pain in my♥♥♥♥♥quot;
♥♥♥♥, I spent most of my space on a bit. You know why? Because that's how forgetable Ultra Greedier is
It's Greed Mode, now harder, and they are seeling it like it's better. If this was The Binding of Isaac: After♥♥♥♥, then sure, harder equals better.
Monsters and bosses
Yes, they added eight monsters, however I guarantee you that none of them is interesting.
They also added like, four bosses, out of which three are different versions of already existing bosses.
♥♥♥♥ you, that's why.
To sum it up
This DLC sucks. You know that because of the "plus". It means "It's an expansion for that other expansion we made". It's♥♥♥♥♥♥ the new character sucks (I wish I could beat Apollyon up), the items aren't cool and there are no remarkable monsters.
They could have sold Afterbirth and Afterbirth plus all together. I would've been a happier person spending my money on that.
God damn this game.
da troof
I bought it and you'll probably buy it too
btw i hope you all understand that this is a joke
