If we learned anything from middle school, it's that trying to make someone like you doesn't work out. It's awkward, it's weird, and the more you try to focus on being the coolest version of yourself, the further you veer from who you really are aka the actual coolest version of yourself. The problem is that this is the entire premise of a first date: Two nervous strangers come together to try to impress each other with weird, forced versions of themselves. Or, at least, it doesn't happen on mine. A more realistic depiction of me on a first date would be reciting a two-hour-long monologue about me, my friends and my family between bites of a meal that I carefully chose because I knew I could eat it without looking like an ogre. Life is not a movie, and the magical first date we often see in the movies more closely resembles the second date. First dates feel like an audition. Will this person let you make it to the next round? Or, more importantly, will you want to continue to the next round at all? So we find ourselves stressing over every little detail. Can I order a burger, or is he going to be repulsed by the sight of me shoving a quarter pounder in my face? Am I talking too much? I should ask him a question... By the second date, though, the two of you have an established connection. First of all, you know you liked each other enough to even have a second round, which alleviates a lot of the initial first-date stress. The second date is your first chance to be present. On the first date, your mind is literally everywhere else. So how can you ever say you gave it a fair shot? The second date is your first chance to show your date who you really are -- without all those distractions. Go ahead and order what you want, talk however much you want, and give him a nice flavor for the real, awesome, fantastic you. Because he likes you! He really, really likes you! The second date is your first chance to actually get to know the other person. On a first date, you're so focused on impressing the person across from you that you forget to actually pay attention. You're thinking of how much you're talking and what you're ordering. While the first date is all about you, the second date is more about him or her. The second date is your first chance to do something you actually enjoy. First dates tend to be the standard dinner-and-drinks. There is nothing more awkward than the other person trying to impress you by guessing that you would enjoy a morning jog or a pottery class... But the second date is a real game changer. At this point, you guys know each other well enough to plan something really fun that you'll both actually enjoy. The second date is your first chance to gauge how you really feel about the other person.