As someone who went to high school and university in the West, I know that pressure very well. You might have non-Muslim friends who are dating or even Muslim friends who are dating. You might be surrounded by guys, guys who seem interested in getting to know you one-on-one, guys who seem very friendly, guys who seem like they would be the most wonderful boyfriend. You might just want to join your group of friends when they go out and hang out with their boyfriends. Or you might just be sick of being the third wheel. You might have your own. And I know how hard it might be to resist. I know all about that feeling of being lonely and wanting someone to share your life with. But I also know that God rewards those for abstaining from those things He has made unlawful. And one of the things He has made unlawful is relations before marriage. But again: have patience. You might have the best of intentions. But you have no guarantee that this boy will end up your husband nor do you know what God has planned for you. What could be more wonderful that being told by the Creator that He has created someone for you, that He has already thought of you and provided for you? In the meantime, focus on other things. Hang out with friends. Spend time with your family. Focus on the things that make you happy, and inshAllah God will take care of the rest. For those of you who are going through this, may Allah make things easier for you. Hope you found this useful! Keep smiling, beautiful girls! Our sole function as homans on this earth is to pro-create. To further our species. And dating helps us decide if the guy chosen for us is worth marrying. Better to find out personal stuff before you tie the knot than after. Wudnt ya want to know that before making it legal and start livin with the guy? No shame in dating as long as both people act respectfuly and discretely. Islam allows any male and female to see and know each other but within limits of veil, ethics and religion while dating is totally a different concept and act. Dating is to spend time with someone alone even sleep with someone without marriage. You have your ENTIRE LIFE to look foreword too. Spending time with people you love, reading books, going to school, and having a hobby are a lot more useful ways to spend your time then on a boy. Their opinion should not fuel your self-esteem. And the 0ne who was sayng that its impossible to ignore opposite gender.. Sports and spending time with family?? Relationship is not everything?? I know a lot if Muslim couples who are dating some openly, some not. The two posts are talking about different things; this one is about dating, while the other one is about marriage. By letting them or an elder know, you can begin the conversation where you can get to know them better. You can definitely talk to your male classmates, but like you said, in a respectful way. This was really eye-opening, your blog is very helpful mashallah! I just recently have been realizing that in addition to non-muslims, muslims also partake in the world of dating, and this first came as a shock. With all the media and non-muslims that surround us, a lot of us tend to give in to the pressure especially when seeing other muslims taking part in it as well. So a lot of times it is hard to resist, but alhamdullilah we have Allah to guide us to the straight path, and people like you to remind us of our duties along the way. I came across this site by accident , i have finished university and am looking to get married but for the life of me i see muslim girls doing some bazzar things like holding unrealistic expectations of what they want. How much money or education and jobs and so on. But i am watching these girls getting older and older and still being single. Ok the dating thing. Seriously as simple as that , its almost a sport. Competing with other with who can lie to this naive girl who does not know any better and then coming with the boys to boast about what they have done to their friends. Some got divorced so its not like the dating thing gave them any kind of advantage but Here is what none you seem to understand half of them did not. And that relationship they had , impacted their other relationships , and was a factor when they were looking to get married and loong after they got married. Sometimes it was really bad on the verge of divorce and stuff because of someone you dated in university years , yes ,years ago. And the whole changing the way the girl was seen. It was not a muslim thing , it was a non-muslim thing too. The more the girl dated the more guys looked down on her and the less likely they would marry her , a bit sexist yes but that seems to be how it is. Think of that, we start off as friends and just hug or even kiss. If you can carry a relationship and end up in marriage, mashaAllah blessing on you both. Most of them does not know what they want. Its prty hard to figure out whether he loves you or not. May allah keep you and your loved one safe. Hello there, I feel like, there is really no difference in having a secret boyfriend and not letting your parents know about it than having non. Its a complicated life which is not satisfying. Having someone in your life and act like there is non. It does looks as pretty as outside.
