https://bit.ly/346zKyN
https://bit.ly/3HiNDrU
https://bit.ly/3JuCHt1
https://bit.ly/3z68Mme
https://bit.ly/3pCkfXN
https://bit.ly/3EHBWJr
https://bit.ly/3pDQOog
https://bit.ly/3FCHMNJ
https://bit.ly/3zayGFG
https://bit.ly/3pAheaa
https://bit.ly/32GH6bt
https://bit.ly/3qxGg9f
https://bit.ly/317dsvy
My friend X has been in a poly relationship for many years now, and it actually meets her needs. She has a wife, with whom she lives and pays bills, and this is her primary relationship. She also has a girlfriend, who she loves, though it has become a long distance relationship. They see each other a few times a year, though, and most recently spent a week traveling through New Mexico, unwinding and enjoying each other. Her girlfriend has a live-in boyfriend, who is a good friend to X.
Currently, that's the extent of it. She was dating another woman for a while, but they just didn't have much of a spark, so now they are just friends, though they keep their weekly rent-a-movie-and-hang-out date. S's partner has had some other relationships (I'm not as familiar with her life). They communicate with each other very well-- and isn't open and honest communication key to any relationship? They accept that they can't meet all of each other's needs (nobody can), and they avoid the codependence (aka lesbian merging syndrome) that can be such a problem in monogamous relationships. They don't doubt that they love each other deeply, so they don't feel anxious about it.
The thing is, they don't have a lot of problems with jealousy. They communicate and trust each other to respect the boundaries they adopt. I, however, who am in a monogamous long term relationship, have had a lot more problems with jealousy, because my partner feels jealous if I spend any time with friends. Does the fact that she's jealous mean I'm doing something wrong if I have dinner with a friend? No, of course not! It means that she has insecurities she has to deal with, and I support her in dealing with it- but I'm still social. However, if we were to follow your advice (that struggling with jealousy means someone's doing something wrong), I would be locked up inside with no internet, phone, or any contact with the outside world.
I guess I'm most concerned that you seem to compare polyamory with anonymous promiscuity, when all polyamory really means is a mutual redefining of boundaries. If the people involved weren't into anonymous promiscuity before they got together, they're not likely to include anonymous promiscuity in the relationship structure they create.
I'm not saying that polyamory = good, wile monogamy = bad. They're just two different relationship structures, which both require a lot of work and communication to be successful.
Can two dominant individuals have a good relationship?
In her article Who says you have to be submissive? Sarah said that she is more drawn to the idea of a D/d (dominant-dominant) relationship than to a D/s (dominant-submissive) one. She argued that wanting a dominant man does not necessarily mean having to suppress any dominant tendencies you may have.
I mean by “persona” a set of habitual patterns of behavior (where others would call it “personality” – but we all have more than one persona). We all have dominant and submissive personas to use when appropriate, whatever our primary persona.
