I think it's time for a bit of a dating rules revolution, because despite the fact that the rule of men asking women being old-fashioned, women still do not seem to be asking men out. Instead, a lot of my friends are sitting around waiting for people to come to them. And they're missing out on things they want. So, why isn't it happening more? Probably because, no matter who you are, can be awkward. It's also really brave. But you know what? If that's the worst that could happen, you'll get over it. In like two seconds. Because, especially if it's someone you're talking to on app or just meet randomly, that person has literally 0 percent impact on your life. I had to develop the nerve to ask people out. Mostly because, well, I just didn't get asked out a lot. It just didn't happen. Yeah, it's kind of crappy, but it's not the worst thing in the world and because of it I learned to be way more brave. And once you do it a few times, it's really not that big of a deal. OK, I'm starting with something extra-bold and we can get easier from there. Sometimes if you've just been chatting for a long time, you need to break out of it and I went out with a guy from Hinge because he spontaneously suggested something that night and I happened to be free and like his chutzpah. It also feels like there's less pressure to ask someone out like this because if they say no you know it was so last-minute and you can feel out how they reply before following up with more suggestions. Something In Common, Let's Go If you want the basic of all the basics, this is it. Just ask them out for a drink. Yeah, it's not catchy or witty, but also you know no one is going to be surprised or weirder out by it. It is 100 percent the expected thing for someone to say in this situation, so it'a t 4. I'm Just Jumping In With Something Low Pressure This is similar to the drink, but if you're someone who is too nice to leave a date that clearly isn't going anywhere, it's better to stick to coffee. You can spend less time and have it come to a natural end. As someone who has trouble saying no and has spent four hours on , sometimes sticking to coffee is best. Netflix And Chill Hey, sometimes you don't want to go on a date. Sometimes you just want a hookup. I'm not a fan of having someone you don't know come to your house— I like a public setting first. But if you've gone out with them or done whatever makes you feel comfortable, and then you decide you want to get laid, ais basically code for the horizontal mambo, which is awkward nerd code for sex. Something Completely Random Fun fact about asking people out: You may do it more than once. If you've had a and think they did too, suggest seeing each other again. Not 100 percent sure if they want to, right? Well, they're probably wondering the same thing about you. So be brave and put it out there. Reference any silly, fun things from the first date and just say it. I mean, you've met them once, if they say no it's really not a big deal. I've had maybe a billion people say no to me. It happens to everyone who puts themselves out there. But it's better to put yourself out there and get a pie in your face once and a while— because you'll get a lot of fun stuff along with the occasional pie. Plus, even if they say no you can be proud and self-assured that you tried. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on.
