Some days I think it is epidemic. In my practice, I find more women come in with this complaint than men, but there have been several men as well. It saddens me because I can tell from their body language they care for each other. They are sitting close or facing each other. It is really important to see each spouse alone so I can actually find out what is going on. I will tell you that I have found in she friendzoned my love pdf experience it usually boils down to one thing: passion. Now that sounds simple enough. Some of you are very practical in your approach to love and marriage. You may not have even considered asking yourself whether you are happy or fulfilled. But some of you are deep feelers. You need to feel emotionally connected in a very intimate way and when that is lacking, you question whether or not the marriage is working. Practical people often find themselves linked with feelers and that is the perfect mix for trouble in the bedroom. Here are just a few possible scenarios for you to consider as a place to start. That is why we preach so heavily at The Marriage Place for couples to get in the habit of spending time together talking and connecting. I simply cannot emphasize the importance enough. The problem with this one is that the partner who is inattentive, unobservant or unavailable is usually not aware they are leaving their spouse feeling rejected and alone. You may say you feel lonely or unappreciated. You may express your feelings as complaints for more quality time. This can leave you feeling hopeless. Eventually, you will stop having romantic feelings for your spouse. Too much of this and desire for your mate will be gone completely. Check out for a more detailed explanation of just how this can happen in a marriage. One spouse is not a good lover. This reason for lack of passion is a simple fix, but no one wants to talk about. I love working with these couples because it is usually a fairly easy fix, all things considered. There are some wonderful books and resources available to help you become an expert in the art of lovemaking. But trust me, it is worth the effort to learn. A few sessions with the right therapist can completely rock your world in this regard. Pornography is another romance killer. Viewing porn is not harmless and it is never healthy. Some couples have been encouraged to view porn together to spice things up. Some women are so devastated when they find their husbands have viewed porn, they actually consider divorce. It is addictive and like any addiction, it will require more exposure to more graphic images to get the desired results. Women view porn as well. Romance novels what I call female porn can create a delusional desire for something that cannot exist in the real world. My advice…stay away from either one. Losing respect for your spouse can kill your sex drive quite efficiently. Women lose respect for men who are conflict-avoidant. Some men are not cut out for confrontation. They would rather remain silent than cause a problem. But if these men are married to strong, independent women, it can be a problem that affects bedroom activity. There are many ways to change this dynamic. Confusing limerence with lasting love. Limerence is the thrill of a new relationship. Passion peaks to an all time high. You are obsessed with spending time together and you daydream or fantasize when you are apart. Limerence is better than any drug and it feels really good. But when it is confused with love, look out. You cannot sustain limerence with anyone. The expiration date on those intense passions is anywhere from 6 months to 3 years with the average being 18 months. Over time, we all go through peaks and valleys with respect to she friendzoned my love pdf desire. After being married almost 25 years, I can tell I have weathered many threats to passion in my own marriage. The key to surviving is staying put, evaluating the threat and working to remove it. At The Marriage Place, we believe marriage is a sacred covenant. If you feel your marriage could use a new perspective, call us. We would love to work with you. Susan, after working with you, I did everything we discussed. My wife left town for a month and when she returned, she saw all the changes I had made. We started spending more time together and when it was time to talk to the mediator, she told me she didn't want the divorce. We kissed for the first time in 5 months!!. We are now going to counseling and things look better each day. Thanks so much for all the times you listened and all the great advice you gave me. I was headed for trouble in an abusive relationship and you showed me how self-destructive I was being. You showed me how to know the she friendzoned my love pdf between loving someone and being infatuated. It wasn't always an easy ride, coming to recognize our shortcomings and those deep-seated insecurities that drove us to react rather than communicate. But it wasn't always rough either. If nothing else, my husband and I are more mindful partners. Even today, nine months later, we try to put into practice the communication tools we learned in our sessions with Kim. Thank you, Kim, for giving us the safe forum we needed to tackle those barriers, the tools we needed to open our minds and the foundation of healthy habits we build upon even today to help us grow happily in our marriage. Dear Kim, One year post therapy and we are still going strong. I still can't believe that less than two years ago my wife asked me to move out of the house. She was convinced it was hopeless and things would never change. I couldn't imagine how giving her space would help her love me again but it worked. As you know, what started as marriage counseling with only me ended with us both committed to the process. Thank you again for all your help and the compassion you showed us. I never would have believed this last year was possible when I contacted you the first time. They literally helped save my marriage. It's not one of those 'So how does this make you feel' type of counseling. Sometimes that required you to take late night phone calls or come in on a weekend to help me get through the crisis. I know I always have a place I can come when life gets too overwhelming. The fights would get so bad we would break she friendzoned my love pdf, stay apart for a few months and then get back together. I got tired of the rollercoaster and I was getting too old to waste my time in a relationship that was going nowhere. We got married five months ago. Kim, we are so happy. On our honeymoon in Hawaii…wink winkwe toasted you over dinner one night. We had quit having fun, both separately and together. It had become easier to just stop trying and with that, problems and resentments had started to grow. Both of us were having doubts about the future of our marriage although neither of us would admit it to the other. With Kim, we discovered someone who quickly and intuitively got to the heart of our problems. She friendzoned my love pdf helped us identify our own individual issues and challenges and showed us how those fed into the relationship. From that she helped us see the resulting behavior patterns and the cycles that followed. She gave us the right setting, taught us the right tools, and made sure that our approach with each other was always loving and respectful. It required a commitment on both our parts. We learned how to build a foundation for a healthy marriage that is long lasting. We didn't have major problems. Kim helped us look at ourselves in a safe, non-threatening way. Both of us have already recommended her to family members we know who are struggling. You were indeed a God send, when all was lost, you were injected into our lives. Even in tough sessions, your tender heart and true compassion shown through. I will be forever grateful for all you did under the true guidance of the Lord. Words cannot say enough or the right thing that would express my appreciation. Thank you for new life and a renewed marriage. We were referred to you by our school counselor because our son had severe anxiety. Before he started therapy, he was having she friendzoned my love pdf lot of stomach issues and was often throwing up. You worked with him for about 6 months and he is doing so much better. I just have to tell you it is an added bonus how much better he gets along with his brother. It is so nice to have peace in the house again. It was obvious you loved our child and helped him so much. We are still figuring this out but I really do think we are going to make it.
