How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it.
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!
When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died!
