So I guess people are interested in signs of confirmed bachelorhood. And now, with the death of Hugh Hefner, maybe even more people are thinking about a certain kind of bachelor life. Some are based on others are just my best guesses that still need to be put to the empirical test. And the criteria apply equally to women and men. You like your single life. You are not going to let your idea of a be dictated to you. Maybe your friends matter more to you than anyone else. Maybe your relatives do. Maybe you like going out in big groups. Maybe you want your time with other people to be plentiful, or maybe you want it to be scarce. You enjoy handling many tasks and challenges on your own. You have a sense of mastery — a belief that you have the skills or knowledge to do what you need, or that you can develop them and would probably enjoy doing so. You may or may not want input from others, but ultimately, you are happy to have the final say. If you were in a serious , and it ended, maybe you will feel sad or hurt; but you may also feel relieved, because now you get to go back to the life that feels right to you. You are on top of your life, or you would be if only you would buck the masses and admit to yourself that you really do want to be single. You get to do that joyfully and guiltlessly. You want your work to be meaningful. When people you care about marry, and you think that it is a good life choice for them, you feel happy for them. Their is not a painful experience for you, because it is not the choice you want for yourself. You are living the life that is the best, most authentic, most fulfilling, and most meaningful life for you. If you are a confirmed bachelor, that life is single life. Does a lot of this sound familiar? I am describing people who are. You have to know within yourself that the single life is something you are more than happy with. It's the introspection that helps you make that decision. I feel sorry in some ways for those who have to scurry between relationships, either as it's their nature and they're naturally somewhat needy, or if they've fallen for the hidden social narrative that pairing off is better when it's not. Just remember this, some aspects of society think it is better. What they cannot logically answer is whether it suits you best. May I explain by comparing with not wanting children. I never longed for children of my own, not when I was young, and not now that I am older. I never regretted not having children and I never envied others who had children. I do care deeply about some children, though, and I have cared for and helped many people. Sign 3 I see as being more about being introverted. Or, doing creative or intellectual work, for example, which presupposes a lot of time alone, whether you are intro- or extraverted. Sign 4, in my opinion, is more about knowing oneself and being authentic and true to oneself than being a confirmed bachelor. Signs 5 and 6 seem to be more about being practical, down to earth, having good practical reasoning skills, as opposed to living in the world of ideas, for example. Just a few thoughts the list ignited in me. I can sort of agree with some of the ideas here. Whilst struggling to find the sort of things I want socially at a practical level. When it's virtually impossible to find things like large friend groups especially including the likes of sexuality and affection it does feel rather like being dictated to. There are things I would like to do with other people. But even where it might be with one person that wouldn't be the same person for everything or every time. Sign 7: From a practical POV I can find getting that input and advice hard. Sign 8: I'm sort of the last sentence. Except never been interested in the romance bit either. In terms of social interaction this kind of thing looks good. Sign 10: For me there's often a sense of I'd better off in a society which wasn't filled with matrimania and amantonormativity. Kind of like being Dr Who fan at a huge Star Trek convention. IIRC there is a correlation. Sign 12: Losing a friend maybe two can be quite a painful experience. Even if that's happened when they became a couple or got enguaged. Sign 13: There is the temptation to ask why they are so interested in marriage or ask them why they are not interested in something they are not. Sign 14: Often feels more like I'm making the best of a bad job. It can often feel quite frustrating and lonely. In terms of being unable to do many social things because virtually everyone else I meet only wants to do them as a romantic couple. The Millennials are the first demographic to challenge this trend, as single for them no longer carries the same baggage as for previous generations. In the meanwhile, people need to honor their own gut instinct rather than follow some generalized societal edict. One neighbour spread nasty rumours about me whilst others glared at any friends who came round to visit me. Why is it such an 'offence' to be single? They have a belief about people not being hooked up by a certain time in life and it is a negative belief. If they're getting nasty and subhuman in the way they treat you, consider research a neighborhood where you are the good neighbor that you are. You don't need those awful nasty people surrounding you. Get with a new neighborhood where bad behavior like that is unacceptable, if at all possible. I told him point blank i was only looking for friends, peeps to hang with. Never at all i would say since there are many of us men that can commit to only one woman. But the real problem is that most women just don't know what real commitment is since they love to party all the time and get very wasted. And they will never be marriage material either since they will never have any responsibility at all.
