Phone sex is a great way to spice up your sex life, whether you're doing it because your partner is far away, because you're not ready to have other kinds of sex together yet, because you just want to try something new, or any other reason! To have great phone sex, you need to let loose, stop being self-conscious, and be ready to get turned on, no matter how silly you may feel at first. Steps Set up a phone date. Let loose and get in the mood. It will be difficult for you to enjoy yourselves if you feel tense or silly, so before you call, do whatever you need to do to get yourself comfortable and feeling sexy. Once you have your partner on the phone, take things at a speed you're both comfortable with. Introduce a casual topic that will segue nicely into sexy talk. Getting started is possibly the hardest part, especially if it's your first time! Pick a topic that's easy for you to bring up, but which has the potential to spiral into steamier territory. Once you have the ball rolling and you're feeling comfortable, try getting bolder with your descriptions, or bring up new, sexier topics. Be as coy or as raunchy as you like! However, there's no need to to do this if you're not comfortable with it. You can start with just letting your breath go at first, to help bring out little moans into louder moans. Likewise, don't be afraid to tell them when you don't enjoy something -- it'll allow the two of you to move on to something else that you'll both find enjoyable. Masturbate and orgasm optional. Mutual masturbation and orgasm are excellent additions to phone sex, but they're not a requirement by any means. If you don't want to masturbate alone, ask them before you start if they'd be interested in joining you. Likewise, don't get anxious if they start masturbating and you don't want to -- you're not obligated to join them. Just enjoy listening to them pleasure themselves. Think of it as the icing on the cake, rather than the goal of the exercise. Continue talking to them, describing what you're feeling and imagining. The point at which you decide to stop is up to you. There's no need to wait for orgasm -- or, indeed, to stop just because you've both come. Some people prefer ending the call as soon as their breathing has gone back to normal, whereas others prefer to stay on the line and chat. It is entirely up to you and your partner. It may be worth a discussion with your partner. It all depends upon the rules you and your partner establish before and during the session. Pictures may heighten the level of excitement for each. This is a form of sexually conversing. He may be surprised or shocked by you coming on too strong over the phone if this is a new idea to him. Phone or text him back asking for a normal chat, then raise the matter of what you were trying to do and ask him outright if it's something he is keen to try or feels uncomfortable with. Then take it from there. If you are truly in a caring relationship with your boyfriend, then you shouldn't have to worry if you think it looks weird, just know that he won't care. If it really feels like a problem to you, you can do one of two things. One, bring it up to your boyfriend before the phone sex and have a conversation about it. Two, if it is still really bothering you, just don't send pictures.
