I wait for time to pass
4 hours until my next fix
then these fears and thoughts will be cast adrift
I always think this will be the last hit
Then the time comes and I can't miss
shaking sweating and nervious
I am the perfect actress
All the years all of the lies
nobody sees what I hide inside
I am screaming but never aloud
I can't make a sound
A life cursed by pain and isolation
anxiety nightmares of my own creation
4 hours until my next fix
I can't last wish I could be stronger or wiser
how can I fight myself
how do I accept what I cannot change
when I am consumed by so much rage
I take a hit and it all slips away
then I can breath and finally I no longer feel
but the high isnt so high anymore
it doesnt last and I always fall
I don't think I will ever heal
why even try when my life is all a lie
