While divorce is shockingly prevalent in our generation—the pain, discouragement, and abandonment of it still hurts. As believers you must fall into the arms of Jesus Christ through the to cope with a divorce. Why so disturbed within me? One of the first and most dominant emotions to struggle with in a divorce is utter hopelessness. However, there is hope and grace in Christ to make it through the pain of divorce. Put your hope in God to take care of you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. In the chaos and calamity of divorce, peace will often feel far away. Yet by trusting in the Lord rather than how you feel brings peace in the midst of stormy days. It seems hard to believe that there can be joy through this devastating experience. Yet the Lord knows how to bring joy alive in your heart during this time. Your strength to get through this divorce will be rooted in the joy that comes from the Holy Spirit. In a divorce situation, loneliness can creep into your heart and mind. Yet it is possible to be alone and not lonely for those who seek their comfort from the Lord and not the empty promises of the world. The Lord has made many promises to those who love Him and He keeps every last one of them. Search for in the Bible and cling to them all day and night to bring you the comfort you desire. You could find yourself suddenly having to make major financial decisions in a short period of time. These are days of seeking wisdom from God to lead you to the right people to help give direction with your finances and finding sustainable income. The Lord promises to meet all your needs and to not forsake you nor your family. There can be great pain for those whose divorce stemmed out of adultery. Yet if you intend to seek revenge instead of trusting God to repay—you will only end up a bitter and disappointed person. This is a time of casting all your cares on God in order to gain strength so you can forgive the adulterer. In many ways, it is the end of a relationship and everything that was promised in it. Yet the Lord is above your divorce and is able to make all grace abound towards you to move forward in faith. Coping in Christ You may feel that you will never get through this divorce. The Lord will never leave nor forsake you in the season of suffering. He will make His presence known to you when you seek after Him with all your heart, soul, and mind. You will move beyond just coping and begin to live victoriously in Christ. Related reading for you: Resource — New International Version Bible, The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblca, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Article by and her husband of 22 years raise their five children in the Midwest. She writes, speaks, and teaches with a passion to encourage women with Biblical truths. As a freelance writer for over 12 years, Crystal has written numerous Christian curricula for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She gives weekly words of encouragement on her blog: Crystal has written 132 articles on What Christians Want To Know! Read them in the archive below. If you like what you're reading, you can get free daily updates through the. Thanks for stopping by! I really liked the first verse you shared—There truly is hope! Cherry I am completely distraught. Even after going through the crushing of seeing my husband in adultery and being taunted by his women, I forgave him and took him back for the sake of our adopted son. He had several instances where I found him going back to his women. Ultimately it has resulted in so much pain, my face is getting slightly paralysed and I have blood clots in my arm. I hurt deeply that I am not valued by the man I was loyal to. Today he is again flirting with the very women who I forgave. I want him to let me go, I am tired of this. Laura Cherry, I feel your pain…the years of women, the drugs, the alcohol, and all those who turned the other cheek at my cries out for help. God does not want his children to be abused. I was and you are being mentally and emotionally abused. Just because no one else can see it; you are experiencing abuse and God sees it. Any one who tells you that is it; is misreading scripture. Then you will be prosperous. They way you are being mistreated, has nothing to do with you; it is not because of you! HE has made these choices and YOU did NOT cause this. You are made in his likeness. You are tougher than you think! You are strong for putting up with, forgiving, and persevering. God gave us free will to make our own decisions and your husband is making his own terrible choices that he will have to deal with when he meets Jesus. That is all on him. What is best for you and your child? You go, you go and make good choices for you and your child. Divorce does not define you. GO find a church that will love you and support you. God hates divorce, but LOVES you! All that matters is your relationship with him, he knows the truth. Sending Prayers to you! Ali I was with the same man for 7 years off and on. We were together 6 years before getting married, after we got married things went downhill, he picked at every flaw there was of mine but nothing on him. We have 2 children together, a home, the whole beautiful family. His father, who is a very disturbed man, had brought in his opinions of me and influenced my husband at the time, that i was a bad mother and wife. My husband believed him, things fell apart after I gave birth to our second child and he would be so hateful of me, didnt want anything to do with our child nor me. Stated I was cheating, stalking me at my job to see if I was working, to having his so called friends follow my vehicle around to see what im up too. Obiously, they lied to him, that ended me being kicked out and calling it quits. I should have stayed and worked through it. He moved his gf into the house and her kids as soon as I left. Come to find out, he was cheating on me for along time. Our year together was wonderful just for him to break it off with me on our 1 year anniversary. Ive been hurting very badly over this and dont understand why, I believed he used me to fix the house since im the handy woman of the house, just to find out that he was cheating on me again 2 months before the second break up and kicked me out, to move her in.. I have a hard time letting things go and this is one thing, im real stuck on. Some people its easier said than done, others feel held captive since my second marriage failed.. I tried my best to keep our family together and now, i juontdont know how to be happy, while raising our kids in two seperate households. I didnt want this for my life nor my kids. I pray to god, ask how can I get him out of my head, beable to move forward without feelibg guilty. Any suggestions out there that helped anyobe else.. Please know you have my prayers. I am so sorry for such heartache. I would talk to your pastor or some trusted Christian friend about this. Read 1 John 1:9. All a person needs to do once they have been brought to repentance of sins, which means we turn away from and forsake them, and then put their trust in Christ, they only need to confess it to God. God forgives ALL our sins and cleanses us from ALL our unrighteousness because of Jesus. Read 2nd Cor 5:21 to see why this is true. Put fact over feelings. God can and will. If I pray for you, I pray you understand God forgives and forgets! Now you must do the same. Elane My wife wants a divorce because I cheat it on her once while I was drunk. I would just pray and perhaps you can talk to your pastor about this too. Ask him and the church to pray for you for your marriage. I would also stop drinking. Tell her that you quit drinking. Drunkness is sin but also hurts others. I will pray for you sir. I am so sorry for this pain. Ryan Fenton My husband has cheated on me. I have tried to make our marriage work over and over again. There has even been physical abuse. Im so tired…I want out of this failing marriage. I fear I will be harmed if he catches on to the fact that Im trying to quietly walk away from him. Please pray for me. Have you talked with your pastor about this? He needs to be in jail according to Romans 13:1-7. Even though you have grounds for divorce if he has been cheating repeatedly, being abused is his breaking the law so he needs to sit in jail for this, but I will be glad to pray. Your husband sounds totally lost. Dorothy Hello I have been married ten years together nine. We Seperated because he threathened me and the kids we still tried to,make it work but he was,commuting adultery once that was found out he has been very angry and belittling me. I had surgery lost my job neither case was he there I had to move back with him cause I lost my house. I know hes telling me we have no chance he even told me only a piece of paper holda us together and he whips his but with paper. Even though I know thus is not healthy I live him and want to let go but it seem so hard. Is there anyone that can hear my cry for help. I feel like my world has crashed. Please call your pastor and see if you both can get counseling. If not, go there yourself, but their must be another woman or man present as you should never meet with a pastor alone. Also, only God can change the human heart Prov 21:1 , and this man does not sound saved, so please pray for him. Pray for him, and trust God with the rest. You cannot do this alone. Dorothy My wife of 28 years left me on March 5th because she said that I was verbally abusive. While I do agree that we argued quite a bit I do not feel that I was verbally abusing her. Most of my frustrations were due to her constantly bringing up issues from the past. Between 2009 and up to the time that she left last month, I was constantly trying to convince her that I had changed and that I did love her and wanted our marriage to work. However no matter what I did or said it was never good enough. I am hurting so bad and I feel so betrayed and lost right now. I just joined a divorce care group and im seeing a therapist to help talk through my emotions. I pray nothing but good prayers for her everyday and I pray that God continues to keep his arms wrapped around both of us during this transition period. Jennifer, I understand the pain and sickness you are feeling. My wife admitted her infidelity to me and my heart broke and i felt that physical sickness you are experiencing right now. For almost a year a tortured myself in my own mind, attempting to forgive her, and not being able to. I wanted to ,for her sake and for my own as the resentment and anger was literally eating me alive. It took me to the point of suicide, until finally I cried out to God with all my heart. I had prayed many times throughout that year for God to take the pain from my heart, and to renew my mind as I would literally picture her cheating on me in my mind over and over, and I had asked the Lord to take it from me, but always with anger or pride infecting my heart and thus my prayer. But when I was fully broken and to the point where I had tried to take my own life, I cried out humbly and broken and asked the Lord not just to take this from me, but to please teach me how to forgive! The Lord did not bring you this pain, but if you submit yourself totally into His loving care he will deliver you from it. And all things, even the worst of things, God can and will use for the greater good bringing glory to His holy name. I asked God to teach me to forgive, but He already had, on the cross. Remember all the grace God has given you already and use the lesson of the life of Jesus Christ to forgive, and in that forgiveness you will find freedom. All glory to God ournfather in heaven. I know the pain you are going through. Lean on the Lord through this, one day things will be better, God will never leave you, he is with you always.. One day you will heal, all will be fine. It know kills me to be around him knowing he hates being there, he looks so unhappy. I know a major parts f this is his drinking has taken him away from God, and his friends influence him like he was a teenager. He wants to live a single bachelor life, no worries, no kids, no wife, no one to bug him ever. God bless you take care. Hello Melina and thank you for your comforting message to Jennifer, however, please be sure that the Bible teaches that unless there is adultery, no divorce is permissible, according to the Bible, not my opinion. Please be careful in suggesting someone divorces over something other than adultery. Jim My wife had an affair for over a year. It was just via text and phone at first then on my birthday she left for Mississippi to stay with this guy for almost 2 weeks. Even after I showed her proof I knew she continued to lie. Our teen daughter is taking it the worst and our two older sons try and give me support but I feel Satan in winning on this one. Sindi My husband and I have been together for close to 6 years and married for over a year. He has been unfaithful with his ex baby mama and has divorced me. I pray to God for healing and to forgive and accept the situation. I pray for strength so I can be strong for our 14month old son. It hurts so much but I know God has not forsaken me.
