I’ve never had a wonderful relationship, love has not really been so good to me, and I have a beautiful daughter from a failed relationship when i was just 21 though I don’t have any more regrets because my daughter is my consolation and she is 7 now so you can guess my age. Since then i have not been in any meaningful relationship i decided to keep to myself but i have not given up on love either.
I reside in Abuja actually so in 2015 i met a young man but there was nothing between us we just had each other’s contact and said hi once in a while on whatsapp not until last year he decided to become active. He invited me to have a drink with him and while we were together i realized that he works with the Police an ASP actually (no offence to the Nigerian Police) so i wasn’t excited about it in any way.
he told me he was interested in me and i told him my status immediately so he would know what he was getting into because I’ve met men in the past after telling them i am a single mother they would cut off from me, so i told him so maybe he would start running but he told me that he also has a son so being a single mom wasn’t a problem for him,(but he lied because he told me later) but he did something that got me thinking after the drink he just drove me down to his house without asking me and the next thing i heard was lets go inside, i was speechless.
I told him i couldn’t as my daughter was alone at home with the nanny that i have to go back to them but he insisted and suggested that i should call a neighbour i just left him and walked out of the compound to get an okada because i saw that he wasn’t ready to take me back home. After that day i decided to cut him off but he came pleading that he knows that am scared of men and bla bla bla that he would like me to visit him with my daughter which we did and he apologised for that day.
Suffice to say i just decided to give this man a chance because i was really lonely. Due to lack of job i decided to relocate to my state of origin but on getting there i realized that it was worse there so i decided to move back to Abuja funny right. I got serious wit this young man without knowing that i was dating myself the guy was so good with lies that i believed him but i had my doubts, this same guy that told me that being a single mum wasn’t a problem turned around to tell me that his mum wasn’t in support claiming that he is from a royal family and as the first son that it was forbidden to marry a single mum.
I was broken but he still gave me hope without knowing he was looking for a soft landing to get rid of me. But i knew it was ova from his attitude, but i just longed for somebody to cling to. When i moved back to Abuja i had no place to stay i had to put up with my former neighbour a guy, he also came with his own wahala but i told him i wasn’t interested he let me be.
This police guy kept on lying to me; he wanted to move from where he was staying before a self con to a bedroom flat i helped him to secure one, that is i became his agent without him showing any appreciation for my running around that was quite stressful. when he finally got the house, just to get me out of his life he told me he doesn’t have enough money to pay for the house so wasn’t paying for it, he also lied that he was travelling to the village to meet with his grandpa concerning marrying a single mother, he tried to confuse me to believe that he was really keen about the relationship, but what i didn’t know was that he used that opportunity to move out of his former place to the new house, the story of not having enough money for the house was for me to think he never moved to the new house he just wanted me not to know his where about.
The next thing i saw was a lengthy whatsapp message from him telling me that he is back from his trip but that he has bad news for me that we can’t be together and all other rubbish he wrote there. He told me how he would have loved for us to be together but he has to obey his parents. God was i shattered? I wanted to die i was rejected once again. I was shocked as to why he had to tell me such a heart wrenching thing via whatsapp instead of face to face. I left where i was for his house to my greatest shock this guy had moved, his neighbour told me that he moved since 3 days ago.
I comported myself and left but on my way home i couldn’t help myself anymore i broke down inside the cab crying my heart out without caring if the man was hearing or not. His neighbour must have called him to tell him i came around because he started calling me, meanwhile i had been calling him since i received his message but he did not pick. I was broken not because we weren’t going to be together but because i was rejected and he deceived me oh yes he did he knew what he was doing all along he just made me fall for him then turn around and rejected me. I realized later that he was seeing another girl and they were serious.
At this point in my life i didn’t see any reason for living, i was jobless had no money no friends and rejected by someone i thought felt the same way i felt towards him. The guy i was staying with was nice and caring but also had his own demons i had to stay because i had no place to go, he would go to work and i would be alone at home crying over the other guy that rejected me. I ran to God asking him to make us get back together but i was jus wasting my time because God was obviously laughing at me. That was when i embraced God, it’s such a shame that it took me this heartbreak to realize that God was the first thing i needed in my life. I have been heartbroken severally but i don’t know why this one had such a huge effect on me.
I became very prayerful and started studying the bible and thought of doing something meaning full with my life anything to take my mind off the young man, but it wasn’t easy. Some days i would stay without eating because i had no money and i didn’t want to bother my neighbour because i wasn’t doing anything for him so i didn’t want to take so much from so he wouldn’t expect much from me. But God being so kind the guy was still doing things for me gladly we became good friends. I embarked on fasting and midnight prayers, in fact i went thru a lot that i can’t begin to talk about here in order not to make this chronicle overly lengthy, but in the end God proved himself to be very very merciful and gracious. During Shiloh i participated in the prayers and also with RCCG. During the Christmas hols while people were busy enjoying i was going up and down Abuja looking for job even the organizations i went to were like “ah aren’t u on hols like others, didn’t u travel?” i would tell them that a hustler doesn’t know holidays oh.
I later got a small job at a lounge though it was far from what i wanted i just need somewhere to be going to every morning to avoid being depressed. Finally on my way to work one afternoon my sister called me and told me that my cousin who stays in Abuja wants me to come work in her company, i spoke with my cousin and she told me to come see her the next day. I was thinking that the place would be in a plaza or rather i wasn’t expecting a big place that i had to miss the road but to my greatest surprise the place was out of this world a very big and popular company i didn’t know that my cousin married a rich man to even have such an establishment.
I was awed after meeting with her i was interviewed by her husband immediately which was very rare and i was told that they would get back to me. On Sunday evening i got a message that i should start work on Monday (the pay is so wonderful) i was so overwhelmed with joy i celebrated with my neighbour and other people around, but the devil was not done with himself, on my way to work i had an accident just as i was getting close to the office, when it happened i laughed because i knew that the devil was at work. I sprained my neck and leg and was rushed to the hospital after one week of treatment i resumed work to the glory of God.
Then the Devil came again through this guy i was staying with, he was no longer patient which i don’t blame him because any other guy would have wanted the same thing, he really wanted a piece of me. He wasn’t violent but he came with other styles, this guy started drugging me so he could sleep with me but my God pass am, i beat him at his game so i became very careful i just needed time to save more money to get a place to put up. The next thing he told me to leave his house as he was expecting a female visitor. Meanwhile all the while i was with him, if he wanted to invite a woman over i would leave the house for them till they were done and we would joke about it. So i was never in his way of enjoying himself with other ladies. So because i didn’t succumb to his tricks he decided to throw me out (but we are still good friends because i refused to let my mind dwell on his bad side but i remember him for his good deeds to me in fact i recently lent him some money which he has paid back).
I had to borrow money from the office account to rent a place and i am proud to say that i am comfortable in my house and am grateful to God for seeing me thru all the tough time, i am writing a book currently and engaged in a little business that is still thriving and about my love life it still sucks though am not seeing anybody right now, i am so in love with myself, but i believe that one day i would meet that young man who would sweep me off my feet.
To all the single moms out there who are going through what i narrated here never give up on love as long as you believe in it, true love will surely find you and don’t depend on anybody for your happiness because when the person leaves you will find yourself depressed. And also for those who are going through one problem or the other please embrace God he did it for me he will do it for you just be focused.
I also want to inform ladies out there to be careful and watchful when you visit a man at his place ensure that whatever food you want to eat was prepared by you hmmm because guys of these days have become so desperate with sleeping with ladies that they drug them there’s this drug “rohypnol”i found it on this guy severally and also putting skunk in my food, mind you they can also eat the drugged food with you so don’t think when he eats the food with you that the food is safe na lie just be careful. Bikonu i hope i did not bore you with my long story have a lovely day everybody.
