I don't know where we went wrong. But, the feeling's gone and I just can't get it back. When couples marry, its with the intention of remaining lifelong lovers and partners. The allure of lies in the intimacy it creates. The Magic of Intimacy: brings lovers together and renders us vulnerable. Intimacy evokes a powerful mix of emotions — we feel vulnerable, yet valued and embraced. When you experience intimacy, it acts like a field in the world of physics, where all the rules of regular relationships change. Your can make you feel special unlike any one else. In fact, he or she can heal you as well. The promise of is in its ability to mend our wounds. Marriage encourages us to expose ourselves to our partners and lay bare our weaknesses; and in so doing our lovers are agents of healing. The Dark Magic of Intimacy: Yet, the very vulnerability that makes intimacy intensely special can be its greatest undoing. The pain induced by a partner can be unbearable. When the people we most care about become destructive and hurtful, we react. The very intimacy that can heal early life can invoke those injuries once again. And, once one party is triggered, you can bet the other will respond. When attacked, some become defensive, while others attack. Does your partner, for instance, retreat and Others simply check out. Others will endure an marriage for the sake of commitment and to honor vows that they made. And, how do you consider your children in the calculus? Unfortunately, there is no clear cut path to follow that will lead to the right outcome. How you resolve this dilemma will depend on your personal circumstances and the conclusions you reach through a lot of thought. And every relationship you hold on to is another one that. And you hold on, only to see something rekindled again. And you are stuck in an arid relationship while stewing in regret. And you make the decision to stay or leave — everyday. And no one can predict the future; except that time is unforgiving. But, you can go forward with conviction. A Marriage Repaired: You can take on your marriage, improve , deal with ; or look realistically at divorce. There is dignity in making it work. Take a look at Harville Hendrix or John 's work on rehabilitating a marriage. For many, it can be done. Take an active role. For some, is necessary. But, for most, it should only be considered when all other options have been explored and exhausted. Have you done the work? The Clear Headed Divorce: The decision to should be made with a sober headset, understanding that it will be a difficult process. A neutral therapist or kind ear can help. It's a big fork in the road. Just know that like many things, divorce has a beginning, middle and end. Know that although divorce entails pain and , it often eases up over time. Understand that a divorce can leave casualties behind. You need to make sure that your kids are okay because divorce can undermine their sense of stability and security. You also need to allow yourself to mourn , because you too have lost something precious. Take Home Message: If you're in an impossible marriage with kids: consider. How did your relationship lose its specialness? Remember, the Field of Intimacy can do tricky things. What issues did you bring to the marriage? Perhaps you stopped communicating, leaving each other filled with resentment? Does a betrayal hangs over the marriage? Then, breathe deeply and ask yourself if there's a bit of good will to work with. If so, you may want to throw down the gauntlet and demand change. I remember one woman who threatened to leave; it led to over twenty years of sobriety for her husband. Most successful cases are less dramatic. Couples get into therapy, start to enjoy each other again and begin to let go of past hurts. With luck, time can heal. Yet, some hurts are irrevocable. If divorce has to happen, the loss, tend to your children with sensitivity and deal with your ex with dignity. Look realistically at everyone around you — including yourself. Your children may need some or treatment. Despite divorce, your ex will likely continue to be an important relationship in your life; especially if you have children. He or she may be depressed, self centered or even. And, sometimes, there's a need to protect yourself. You don't want to over react or under react to an ex spouse. Good psychological counseling can help keep you in a centered place. Finally, for many, a practice and good friends can really help. You didn't consciously choose to be in an unhappy marriage. But, you can choose to deal with it with dignity and. No one can tell you what to do. It may be a lonely place, but it's your place. I wish good things for you, your spouse and your kids. Now, it's your life to live. Intelligent Divorce Course: Florida Course: - Taking Care of Your Children - Taking Care of Yourself BEST ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO GET YOUR EX LOVER, HUSBAND, WIFE, GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND BACK. Thank Dr Alexzander for everything you did in my marriage. Anything that doesn't fit or work as expected is junked right away and replaced, relationships included. And taking kids into account? It seems like they are the very last ones to be thought of by a party seeking divorce, thought that could only just that, a seeming. People in our culture are taught to be very self-centered now-a-days, that ones personal happiness is all that counts. Hopefully the married couples can work things out. Hopefully the divorce doesn't suck too much life out of the family. We all get that. You must use your academic background to start promoting an end to the practice of marriage for non religious people, who have not yet made the mistake of marrying. It is a shame that with all of your knowledge you have not yet begun to actively promote an end to marriage for the non religious. It is a useless and too often destructive institution that must be
