He was 27, she was 42. Those were the ages of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore when the couple tied the knot last year, making their highly publicized May-December official. But even though their older woman-younger man relationship may be among the world's most visible, it's not that unusual anymore. According to a recent AARP poll, one-sixth of women in their 50s, in fact, prefer men in their 40s. The women like the flexibility and sense of adventure of their more spontaneous, younger companions, B. Tessina, PhD, a licensed family therapist in practice in Long Beach, Calif. For their part, the men like the sophistication and life success of their older mates, she explains. The much touted idea that women peak sexually in their 30s and men in their does not enter into it -- most of these couples are beyond both those age periods. Now companionship, travel, and fun are coming to the forefront. Cunningham, PhD, a in the department of communications at the University of Louisville, tells WebMD. You can override a lot of biology in pursuit of other goals. We think we should only weigh 120. We should marry people within two years of our age. We pathologize anything that isn't within those shoulds. If the voltages are different, one becomes the pursuer and one the distancer. This can create pain. She has been in several with men up to 20 years younger than herself. She works out a lot by her own admission and judging by her track record in this department and often meets partners at the gym, not the bars. Winter tells WebMD that she and her co-author interviewed more than 200 couples for their book. The average length of the relationships was 13 years. Continued Pretty Promising Material Out There Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. Guys in their 30s get her vote. Such men at least the ones interested in older women are stable and mature. They don't want to be mothered. They want a woman who knows who she is. Tessina, PhD, psychologist and author, The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. Cunningham, PhD, psychologist, University of Louisville. Kathryn Elliott, PhD, assistant professor of psychology, University of Louisiana, Lafayette. Susan Winter, co-author, Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance. © 2003 WebMD, Inc.
