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Dear Otter,
Well I guess I am the lucky one. My husband says he loves me and he does the laundry too.
But it's true some people need to say it or hear it, and others need to act it out or see it acted out, to believe love is there.
"Pat"
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Aug 1 - 20:57 | reply to this comment
Seeing the best in one another
My wife sees the best in me, and for that I'm grateful. It makes life a whole lot more enjoyable for both of us. I think you have to see the best in your spouse if you want a good marriage.
and I mean no disrespect. But for me, personally, an egalitarian, equal marriage sounds very unromantic, very unsexy. For me, it would feel more like a business partnership. Its one reason why the idea of splitting the costs for dates turns me off too...not that I as a woman am a "sponger" or "golddigger", but to me it shows that the man seeks to take care of the woman.
But, to each her own I guess!
by BlueRose on 2005 Jul 27 - 17:25 | reply to this comment
Splitting Costs is Not the Same as Equal
Bluerose, splitting costs is not the same as being in an equal relationship. There just isn't anything to struggle about because no one is looking to hold power over the other.
When it comes to the who pays for dating thing I am with you to a point. I think, since men still make more money than women on the whole, they should pay for dates until a relationship is established. After that I think there should be some kind of reciprocity but not 50 50 down the middle..because women still earn less.
But she can cook him dinner or buy him a small gift and make him feel his efforts are reciprocated.
"Pat"
