you because of this, neither does He lead you to forsake your family for this
or for any other cause. God has made you a trustee, a steward, in your home.
Seek to educate yourself for this work, and He will be by your side to bless all
your endeavors, that by and by, when the reckoning time for the administration
of your trust shall come, He may say, “Well done, thou good and faithful
servant.”
Your husband has rights; your children have rights; and these must not be
ignored by you. Whether you have one talent or three or five, God has given
you your work. Parents are fearfully neglectful of their home duties. They
do not meet the Bible standard. But to those who forsake their homes, their
companions, and children, God will not entrust the work of saving souls, for
they have proved unfaithful to their holy vows. They have proved unfaithful
to sacred responsibilities. God will not entrust to them eternal riches....
Letters have come from mothers, relating their trials at home and asking
my counsel. One of these cases will serve to represent many. The husband
and father is not a believer, and everything is made hard for the mother in the
training of her children. The husband is a profane man, vulgar and abusive in
his language to herself, and he teaches the children to disregard her authority.
When she is trying to pray with them he will come in and make all the noise he
can, and break out into cursing God and heaping vile epithets upon the Bible.
She is so discouraged that life is a burden to her. What good can she do? What
benefit is it to her children for her to remain at home? She has felt an earnest
desire to do some work in the Lord’s vineyard, and has thought that it might
be best to leave her family, rather than to remain while the husband and father
is constantly teaching the children to disrespect and disobey her.
In such cases my advice would be, Mothers, whatever trials you may be
called to endure through poverty, through wounds and bruises of the soul, from
the harsh, overbearing assumption of the husband and father, do not leave your
children; do not give them up to the influence of a godless father. Your work
is to counteract the work of the father, who is apparently under the control of
Satan.—Letter 28, 1890.
43
Counsel to the Wife of an Unbelieving Husband. We receive many letters
soliciting advice. One mother says her husband is an unbeliever. She has
children, but they are taught by the father to disrespect the mother. She is
deeply burdened for her children. She does not know what course she can
pursue. She then expresses her anxiety to do something in the cause of God,
and inquires if I think she has a duty to leave her family, if she is convinced
she can do no good to them.
I would answer: My sister, I cannot see how you could be clear before
the Lord and leave your husband and your children. I cannot think you would
feel that you could do this yourself. The trials you may have may be of a
very trying character. You may be often pained to the heart because disrespect
is shown you, but I am sure that it must be your duty to care for your own
children. This is your field where you have your appointed work. It may be
rocky and discouraging soil to work, but you have a Companion in all your
efforts to do your duty unflinchingly, conscientiously, notwithstanding all the
discouraging circumstances. Jesus is your helper. Jesus came into our world
to save lost and perishing souls, and you are to consider that in this work you
are a laborer together with God.
Home Trials for Jesus’ Ear Only. Do not shirk your responsibilities. Be a
daily home missionary. Not only teach your children from their babyhood, but
train them. Keep a steady, firm hold upon your children. You must not only
44
tell them what to do, but, to the very best of your ability, make their
surroundings favorable and sow your precious seed in the love and spirit of
Jesus. Because Satan uses the father of your children to counteract your work,
do not be discouraged; do not give up the conflict. Do as you wish them to do.
Treat your husband with kindness at all times and on all occasions, and bind
your children to your heart with the cords of love. This is your work; this is
the burden you have to bear. Talk not your home trials to anyone but Jesus;
pour them into His ear.
Jesus “came unto His own, and His own received Him not. But as many
as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to
them that believe on His name: which were born, not of blood, nor of the will
of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” [John 1:11-13].
Value of a Christlike Life. Grace is not inherited. A very bad father
may have a godly son; a Christian father a profligate son. Let mothers take
up the burdens made doubly heavy for them by the course of the head of
the household. This makes your work plain, to let your light shine in the
household where Satan is at work to secure your children to himself. Shall he
have them? Let the missionary spirit rise to the emergency and say, “No, no;
my children, although they have a godless father, are the purchase of the blood
of Christ. I am their mother. I will seek the Lord in faith, in humility, that He
will not only save my children, but [also] their father, to repentance.” Talk not
and plead not for the sympathy of your husband and your children, but simply
live the life of Christ. In words, in spirit, in character, in meekness, in patience
and forbearance, in cheerfulness, be a signpost pointing out the way, the path
that leads heavenward.
45
Be a witness for Christ. Exemplify the strength of the Christian’s hope,
which is cast into that within the veil. Reveal that the anchor holds you under
all circumstances. Let your home be made pleasant and cheerful. Jesus—you
must rely on Jesus every moment. Draw your strength from Jesus. He will
give you that which you ask in sincerity. If you seek Him with your whole
heart, He will be found of you.
Home Missionary Work by Mother. God does not call mothers away from
home missionary work which will leave their children under the control of
influences that are demoralizing and ruinous to the soul. Are not her children
in need of missionary labor? Are not her children worth earnest and prayerful
effort? Shall she neglect home missionary work for a larger field? Let her try
her skill in her own home—take up her appointed, God-given work. If she has
utterly failed, it is because she has not had faith or may not have presented
the truth and lived the truth as it is in Jesus. Let her, after years of apparent
failure, try again other methods, seeking counsel of God. Present His promises
on your knees before Him. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,
that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering” [James 1:5, 6].
Cheerfulness Better Than Complaining. Have you felt your lot was hard,
and complained and murmured? Then as you received no help in this line,
begin another course of action. Speak kindly; be cheerful. Because you have
Jesus as your helper, break forth in songs of praise. When tempted, when
reviled, revile not again; and labor with your children while there is one out of
Christ. Sow the seed, the living seed, deep into the soil of the heart. Let your
words be wisely chosen. Consider yourself as God’s appointed missionary, to
be the light of your home.
46
Again I say, It is not like the works of God to call the m
