HOW TO EAT THINGS (w/ a title :3)


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DATE: April 22, 2013, 6:10 a.m.

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  1. How to eat anything, the DETAILED edition.
  2. 1. Take that food, and observe that shit. It looks delicious doesn't it. It's food. Imagine that whatever it is, it's a fuckin' steak. Steak is a man's favorite thing to eat in his free time.
  3. 2. Got a utensil? What, so you think you'll eat it with with your freaking hands? God no, remember, you are a family MAN. Better act like one. That fork right in front of you, right hand on fork, you take that 'meat'
  4. and you lift it to eye level.
  5. 3. Open that god forsaken mouth. You know you haven't brushed in days. Traveling, eh? Such an asspain. -_-
  6. 4. That meat, insert that shit through the window of your taste buds' home. THE MOUTH. YOU BETTER CHEW IT... CHEW IT GOOD, because there's more of it to come. But remember, it runs out, only for you to BUY. AND WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU NEED TO BUY ITEMS??? Money. YOU WORK FOR MONEY, TO FEED THAT FAMILY OF YOURS. DAMN.
  7. 5. Repeat it, with extra physicality each cycle.

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