Flirting is, at its most basic, a way to get to know people you might be interested in dating. It might seem nerve-wracking to start flirting and put yourself out there, but fear not—it's normal to be nervous around someone you really like, and there are ways to seem confident and pull off a successful flirtation. Whether you're flirting over text, online, or in-person, it's important to keep a balance between revealing your feelings and keeping the person you like intrigued. If you want to know how to flirt, then see Step 1 to get started.
1 Keep your approach casual. Don't let yourself get so nervous that you forget basic conversational skills. Instead, try to stay calm and open the conversation in a low-pressure way. If you've never chatted with the person online before, you may even find an excuse for talking to him, like asking a question about homework or talking about a sports team you both like. If you're texting a person for the first time, make sure he or she knows who you are and that they don't feel creeped out. Here are some ways to start a conversation through text or chatting:
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Did you see/hear [insert event you both know about here]?"
"How's your week going?"
2 Don't talk about yourself too much. The majority of people are most comfortable talking about themselves because it's a topic they know well. Instead of taking the easy way out and discussing you endlessly, encourage the other person to talk about him or herself. However, you can and should occasionally throw some personal facts in the person's direction to help them to ask questions about you in turn. The key is to leave it up to them to pursue an interest in things relevant to yourself.
This tactic actually serves two purposes: Not only does it keep the conversation going, but it allows you to find out more about your crush.
You don't have to possess prior information about the other person to do this step. If you don't know him or her very well yet, you can ask:
"How did your day go?"
"So, what do you do with your free time?"
If you do know the other person a bit, focus on a hobby or interest you're already aware of. For instance, maybe he's really into basketball, or you know she loves to read. "Did you see the game last night?" or "Have you read any good books lately?" would be great starts.
4 Compliment your crush early in the conversation. Don't chicken out and skip this step — it might seem difficult, but it's incredibly important. A compliment communicates that you're potentially interested in dating, and steers you away from the dreaded friend-zone. If you skip paying your crush a compliment and simply keep the conversation on a friendly level, it might be too late next time. Here are some basic compliments you could use:
If you don't know your crush very well yet, but you're working on it, use a compliment oriented in this direction. Say something like, "It's so easy to talk to you," or "I kind of can't believe I'm getting to know someone as interesting as you."
Try weaving the compliment into the conversation. For instance, if the girl you like is talking about how she had a terrible day, you could say something like "I hate seeing someone as beautiful as you feel so unhappy. What can I do to help?"
5 Be bold. If none of the suggestions above appeal to you, go for broke and pay your crush a bold compliment. Try these possibilities, using the adjective that fits your crush best or substituting your own:
"I hope you know you're gorgeous/beautiful/amazing/my favorite person to talk to/etc."
"Sorry if this is too forward, but I have to say that you're incredible/an amazing person/so beautiful/etc."
6 Don't come on too strong. Avoid loading compliments with feelings too early. Leaving a person slightly uncertain of the extent of your feelings for them can increase your attractiveness, giving you a bit of a mysterious edge. The point is not to make the person question whether you like them at all, but to make them wonder how much you like them. If you just openly say, "I have a big crush on you" or "I've always thought you were so hot," then you're taking the mystery out of the exchange.
Instead, you can send a text or a message that says something like, "You looked cute in your new sweater today" or another comment that is nice and flirtatious without giving it all away.
