I am in my early 20s, and have recently started seeing someone from a different race. He and I went to high school together. He is honest, funny, sweet, and caring. He treats me wonderfully. However, I felt like I wanted to slowly introduce him to my family. Thank you for signing up! What should I do? Yes, your parents should only care about how you are treated. Parents who have adult children living at home have the right to control the use of the family car, expect financial or chore contributions, and make conditions concerning smoking, drinking, drug use, and occasional reasonable curfews. These are all lifestyle choices that have an impact on the household. They can set up whatever structure they want, even if it is unreasonable. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy, and you should have a relationship with him if you want to. If your folks draw the line and ask you to leave home over this, then you will have to make a tough choice. My single daughter is 47, never married, does not date, has a great job, and is very attractive — but she has a serious problem. As a renter, she has moved six times in six years from one apartment to another. She was a condo owner before that. Each time she moves it is because she has had major problems with her neighbors. Each time she feels that one of her adjacent neighbors makes noise purposely to irritate her. And this irritation goes on continuously when she is at home. She will not talk to these neighbors for fear that it will make the situation worse. She does not retaliate and pretends that everything is OK, but she is burning up inside with anger. Your daughter is either very restless, extremely sensitive, or possibly somewhat unstable. Her pattern of always having the same issue, and then moving to cope with it, is destabilizing and expensive. You should suggest that she see a counselor. Professional coaching could help her to find strategies to cope with her anxieties, as well as giving her the courage to use her own voice when she wants to describe or express a problem. She is an adult and is making choices concerning her own life — ultimately you must respect her freedom to live and move through the world the way she wants to. I agree that bereavement counseling would be helpful for the 10-year-old, but think that sleeping with the girl and her dad should not be out of the question. There are many societies where the whole family sleeps in one room, and making the transition into this family by sleeping together may be a helpful step. As the girl becomes a teen and wants to have friends stay over, having her design a room of her own would be the next transition to independence. This father and his young daughter are sharing a bed. Amy Dickinson can be reached at.
