The door opens and she hears two dogs barking at each other. Martin drags Eddie through the door. Come on, it's all over. He won't mess with you. Daphne: Oh dear, what happened. Martin: Oh, get the first aid kit. Eddie got into a fight. We were on the elevator with that Doberman from upstairs. Eddie took a perfectly innocent sniff, and wham. Daphne brings the first aid kit from the powder room. Daphne: Eddie was viciously attacked. Martin: Well, now that I look at it, it's just a scratch. But I probably should take him to the vet's anyway. Daphne: What are you doing up so early. Kelsey grammer pacemaker Oh, the new station manager's taking over today. She wanted to meet with all of us. Martin: Well, it's tough on guys, taking orders from a woman. If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick would never have been conceived. Kelsey grammer pacemaker My brothers couldn't stand taking orders from me. Uh, I can't stay, I just wanted to ask a favor. Dad, can I borrow your gun. Martin: Maris taking singing lessons again. Our home security system is down for repairs, and with no electric gates I'll just feel safer if I'm packing heat. Frasier: Oh, for heaven's sake, Niles, you don't even know how to pack a lunch. Maris is a wreck ever since she found out our entire neighborhood watch is wintering in Palm Beach. Martin: Forget it, you don't know the first thing about guns. I don't believe in civilians having guns. Maris's mother gave her a gun. Maris's mother has never cleaned anything in her life. Kelsey grammer pacemaker All right, all right, listen up everyone, I've been working the office grapevine, I've got the scoop on the new boss. Gil: Is she going to fire me. Bulldog: Hey, first things first. Roz: Forget it, Bulldog, she'd have you for kelsey grammer pacemaker. Bulldog: Right, like I ever stick around that long. Roz: Anyway, the word is that she's like this psycho perfectionist. Everyone at her last station was scared to death of her. She's kind of becoming my idol. Bulldog: Hey, what if she hates sports. I just promised my mom a new pacemaker. We all do good, solid shows. We hardly even know this woman, and already we're painting her as a heartless Medusa. Father Mike comes out of Kate's office, stunned. Mike: She said my ratings are down. Mike: The little thug fired me. Gil: Did she say anything else. Roz puts a hand over her face. Boxes sit under empty shelves. She's talking on the phone. Kate: Listen, tell the movers I want the couch directly in front of the bookcase. Frasier sits in a chair in front of the desk. In front of the bookcase. Kelsey grammer pacemaker gets up, moves the chair to a bookcase in the far corner, and sits down. Kate: Yes, tell her I got somebody here. Could we move the furniture later. Frasier gets up, moves the chair back to its original place, and sits. Kate: Could we do that. I've been listening to the tapes of all your shows. I love what you're doing. Well, thank you very much. Kelsey grammer pacemaker like to think of my show as a haven for the tempest-tossed in the maelstrom of everyday life. You really talk that way. Anyway, your ratings are very good. But I still think we can do better. She goes to a bookcase and starts unpacking a box. Frasier: How to improve my show. That is a tall order. Let's say, perhaps, uh, Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra in D Minor. I mean, I love classical music, but to most people it's a big snore. Oh, incidentally, Bartok's Concerto is in C. I put myself through college working at a classical station. You've got a great face. I want to see it on t-shirts, I want to see it on park benches, I even want to see it on Frisbees. Everybody in Seattle should be popping it, wearing it, sitting on it. You know, I hate to nitpick, but I was certain that concerto's in D. I was a music minor at Harvard. It was commissioned by Serge Kosivinsky in 1943 for the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and since then it's been recorded over thirty times—each time, in C. Kate: Also, I think you should start doing theme shows. Devote a whole show to people having extramarital affairs, or devote a whole show to people with aberrant sexual practices. Could you give me a hand with that box over there. It's a very good idea. But that-these theme shows, uh, it's a less good idea. You might even say a worse idea. Frasier: Well, uh, I am a doctor, and I'd hate to have the serious work I do be tainted by commercialism. Kate: But you don't mind the Frisbees. Kate: Aren't you sweet to notice. Finally, I would like you kelsey grammer pacemaker start giving priority to the juicier calls. Frasier: Well, what exactly do you expect me to do. Why don't you go sleep with your best friend's wife and call in on Monday when it'll be Infidelity Day on the Frasier Crane Show. The psychiatrists at my last station went national. Frasier: Well, you know, I'd rather stay local if going national means sucking at the sump-pump of sensationalism. Kate: Well, I'm the boss, Doc. Frasier: Listen, lady, I'm not changing my show. Unless you're willing to explain to the owners why you fired one of your highest- rated hosts, well then there's nothing you can do about it, is there. The lights in the hallway are off. Frasier: Well, we're coming up on 3 A. I'm in the same line of work, and I think that what we do is very important. Roz: Wrap it up, will you. Stay tuned for the news, weather, and sports. He goes off the air. Roz comes into his booth. Frasier: Really stunk up the airwaves with that one, didn't we. Roz: Frasier, I want you to flash forward to tonight. Dennis Abbott and I have just had a glorious meal at Le Ralee. Dennis has just asked me back to his penthouse apartment to see his priceless collection of silk sheets. I have to go to work in an hour. Frasier: Well, for starters, you at Le Ralee. Roz: So is Dennis Abbott. Frasier, we have got to get our old time slot back. Frasier: Don't worry, Roz, we will she just moved us to break our spirit. Roz: Well, she can saddle me up and ride me around the coffee room. I can't do this again. Kate is waiting in the hallway. Kate: Enjoying your new time slot. Frasier: As a matter of fact, I found it invigorating. Remember that woman who called in, uh, you know, with the delusions of grandeur. Couldn't understand why nobody liked kelsey grammer pacemaker. Kate: Well, I hope you explained to her that it's not important that people kelsey grammer pacemaker her, as long as they respect her. Frasier: Oh yes, respect is important. Kate: Oh, yes, yes, but some people — and this is so unfortunate — can't tell the difference between self-respect and pig-headedness. Frasier: Yes, but those people are usually rigid little demagogues who don't know the difference between the kind of respect that is earned and the kind of respect that is irrespective. Kate: Isn't it sad when bad things happen to good sentences. Frasier: I think I made myself clear. Kate: Well, I really do have work to do. I've got to find somebody for your old time slot — now that it's free. Roz: Nice going, Frasier, now she's never gonna give in. Bulldog sticks his head out of a door. Martin: You don't want this bacon, I'm giving it to Eddie. Daphne: You know that bacon's not good for him. He's wearing a plastic cone on his neck that encircles his entire head. Martin feeds him a rasher of bacon. Martin: And can't we take that stupid thing off him. The vet said if he scratches the scabs, they'll never heal. And I have noticed kelsey grammer pacemaker if you sit him next to the telly, Channel Five comes in a lot clearer. Martin: Look at him, he's humiliated. From the apartment above, a dog barks. Daphne: Yeah, well, it doesn't help that that bully upstairs keeps rubbing it in. Eddie barks toward the ceiling. Martin: You tell him, boy. Frasier comes out of his room in his dressing gown. Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, I am trying to get some sleep. I asked you to keep that dog quiet, and instead you outfit him with a megaphone. In the last thirty-six hours I haven't had so much as a nap, and I've got to be back at the station by 2 A. By the time this day is up, one of us is going to sleep. Daphne: Oh, don't worry, Dr. Crane, Kelsey grammer pacemaker take Eddie for a walk. I've had my share of women's opinions for the week, between the station's new Reichschancellor and Roz's incessant whining. As far as I'm concerned, your entire sex can put a sock in it. He goes back to his room. Martin: Boy, you'd never let me get away with a comment like that. Crane needs right now is a little peace and quiet. She sticks two fingers in her mouth and blasts a shrill whistle. Daphne opens the door and runs into Niles, who looks weirdly overconfident. Where are you off to. Daphne: Oh, I'm taking Eddie for a walk. Niles: It's dangerous out there. You never know when you might need. Oh, I don't think so, Dr. But thanks for the thought. She goes into the hall, laughing. Niles: How did she know it wasn't a real gun. It fooled the servants, even the ones who spent years fleeing juntas. Martin: You bought a starter's pistol. Frasier: What the hell was that. A gun just went off in here. Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol. Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry, was I snippy. Martin: You know, Niles, you shouldn't have any kind of gun, really. Come to think of it, now that Mr. Sunshine's home during the day, maybe I shouldn't either. It won't be long before my loyal fans protest, and the afternoon slot is once again home to the compassionate and lovable Dr. Martin: All right, kelsey grammer pacemaker I can catch up to Daphne in the park. Martin and Niles go out the door. A cup-holder with four cups of coffee sits next to him. Behind him, Roz, wearing a slinky evening dress, takes one. Frasier: Hello, Seattle, this is Dr. I'll be taking your calls for the next four hours. Roz, who's on the line. Roz: How should I know. Frasier pushes the button himself. Frasier: Hello, Line Two, you're on with Dr. Uh, well, I work at this all-night mini-mart, and, um, I've been watching myself on the video camera, and the camera-me is doing things I don't approve of. Frasier puts a hand on his face. Roz listlessly goes into her booth. A woman Phyllis is on the line. If I don't get some sleep soon, I'll just—I'll go crazy. You've got to help me, Dr. Frasier and Roz wake up. Phyllis: So what do you think I should do. She's shrugs to say she's stumped. He decides to wing it. Frasier: Well, you know, sometimes these things seem clearer in the light of day. My advice is to sleep on it. Phyllis: Is that some kind of a joke. To make fun of the insomniac. Frasier: Oh, no— She hangs up. Roz signals him to go to commercial. Roz comes into the booth. Roz: You hear that whooshing sound. It's my career going down the toilet. Frasier: Oh God, Roz, I don't think I've helped a single person tonight. You'll be lucky if you don't get sued. You told a longshoreman to come out of the closet, and a gay guy to spend more time on the docks. Frasier: Well, you're the one who's supposed to keep track of who's on what line. We shouldn't get mad at each other. Kelsey grammer pacemaker God, this is all Kate's fault. Roz: You're right, you're right, she's ruining us. And there's nothing we can do. If we're gonna go down, we're gonna take her down with us. We've got one hour left. If she wants raunch, we're gonna give her more raunch than she ever dreamed of. Are you with me, Roz. Roz: Just pump up the volume and call me Kitty. And in accordance with new station policy, we are going to be pandering to the lowest human instinct. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. There is the sound of a whip cracking. I want to know who's having sex. I want to know if you're having it right now. Crane, the lines are hot. Frasier: Hey, that's a great idea. Hey, I'm getting naked right now. He reaches down and kelsey grammer pacemaker off his shoes. Crane strips, our new station manager would like to know if you prefer to be the spanker, kelsey grammer pacemaker the spankee. Nancy: Oh, definitely the spanker. In his booth, Frasier is stripped down to his underwear. Frasier: Well then, hop in a cab. I'm not wearing any pants. Roz whoops as Frasier twirls his pants over his head. She leans against her desk, listening to a tape of Frasier's performance. Frasier looks a little sheepish. One is not getting what we want, and the other is getting it. You did this to vex me. And it was not Shaw, it was Oscar Wilde. Did you ever open a book at Harvard. Frasier: You know, one of these days, you're going to misquote someone, and I'm going to land on you like a sumo wrestler. Kate: All I wanted, all I wanted was a lousy little theme show once or twice a week. At the pain of infidelity, at what it does to families, at what it does to children, at what it does to kelsey grammer pacemaker fabric of society, and this is just off the top of my head. You are such an arrogant gasbag, so used to being cock-of-the-walk around here that you can't stand still for one minute and listen to a perfectly valid suggestion from somebody else. But I'm not going to. Frasier: Did you listen to the whole tape. But, unlike you, I put what's good for the station above my personal feelings. Frasier: Well, that's-that's awfully big of you. Kate: Guess again, Captain Midnight. If I give you kelsey grammer pacemaker your old time slot without your making a single concession to me, that would completely undermine my authority. Being a crack shrink, surely that's within your grasp. If we don't want to remain entrenched in these positions forever, one of us had better think of something. Kate: Yes, one of us better. There is silence as they both ponder as hard as they can. Gil and Bulldog walk to the door. Bulldog: So, we're together, right. Bulldog: We're not letting her push us around any longer. Frasier storms out of the office, Kate following him. Frasier: I don't care what you say, I like theme shows. Bartok's Concerto in C, I don't care how much you hate it. Kate: It's my way, or no way. Kate: What kelsey grammer pacemaker you two want. Gil: Keep up the good work. Kate smooths her jacket and smiles, authority restored. Credits: Frasier's Apartment Martin hits the television, trying to restore the picture. Martin watches the picture, telling her how to adjust Eddie for best reception.
