My name is deji and my wife's name is Ruth.
I have been dating Ruth since she was in university. I got married to her in a legal way(court wedding). I'm way older than Ruth with 17yrs. Ruth gave birth at a early age of 19, she bore me 2 beautiful kids. During our courtship, there was a time Ruth left me for more than 4 months without no fights or arguments and i started dating someone else along the line Ruth came back and was begging coupled with her mom's sis that she was possessed, that was why she was misbehaving but she is okay now and i accepted her back because of the love i have for her but my family were totally against it because i didn't wrong her, she just left without no argument or fights that later in future she will do more than that.
Ruth is very aggressive and violent that whenever there is a misunderstanding between us she destroys things in the house.
She has broke our TV before and up to the extent of taking a knife that she will stab me.
Ruth chase away my friends and family from me that it was just all about her and the kids.
She frustrate me that i don't have peace at home again that I'm always scared of going home and have called her several times that whatever have i done that is making her to treat me this way she should please forgive me but she said i haven't done anything.
I earn a good salary but i cant account for something tangible at the end of the year that my mom was even saying wont i come to the village if Lagos isn't favourable for me. Ruth earns over 200k monthly but she cant assist me financially with anything.
what she says to the kids is that is the responsibility of a man to care for his family. I do fuel her car full tank that she takes to work and she brings it home empty without topping it up then ask me for refund when she gets back home.
I got the job for Ruth that earns her over 200k monthly. She is so fake that she lives a fake life, she has a lot of runs friends, divorcee, single ladies, celebrity as friends and she want me to be living in that kind of lifestyle that i cant afford.
She drained me financially from one expenses to the other that whatever she says is final, that she made sure i sent our 1st born to a secondary boarding school that i pays over 400k per term and the 2nd born to a school over 150k per term coupled with house rent of 700 yearly.
I caught her being fetish that she adds something to my food and i called the attention of my family and when they left she told me my family cant control her.
She has gone fetish up to the point she cover up herself up all this white garment cloth and she add all those white garment stuffs in her bath water when i questioned her, she said she has to protect herself.
Have sent her and the kids to over 3 states abroad during summer breaks all expenses on me.
The last one she left for with the kids they spent over 3 weeks when she came back her attitude changed totally right from the airport she wasn't happy to see me, didn't hug and she was just nagging.
When we got home she moved her things to the another room that she want to be sleeping there that she snores and doesn't want to disturb me and i was like i haven't complained.
Meanwhile i do caution her to make her stop the snoring by telling her to adjust during the night but she left and started sleeping in d other room but when she is horny she comes to my room to have sex and she leaves immediately.
There is nothing she doesn't compare me to by calling me all sorts of names like "its only dick that i av ", I'm stagnant, is this where my mates are financially.
How would i not be stagnant where I'm the only one providing for the family with no helper up to the point of pencil, eraser, salt and Maggi is my duty to buy.
When its her birthday and the kids i drop at least 30k on every celebration.
What she does with her money is to buy aso-ebi, makeup, shoes and bags and go to owanbe.
Last year Sept when it was time for the kids to resuming she was disturbing me to bring the money for the kids school fees that she should pay it on my behalf because normally i do transfer to the kids school account but i didn't answer her which was so unlike me because she do pay the fees for Them, so i went ahead and credit the school account and i informed her but saw her countenance that she wasn't happy about it.
Every weekend i do notice Ruth's aunt do come over to our house and when she is going they park loads unknowing to me my wife was moving her things out of the house gradually and i asked her about the loads she said it was the things she doesn't need anymore that she was giving to her and i said okay, i do give the aunt fare whenever she comes not knowing i was a fool.
On a bad Thursday, Ruth packed out of the house and took one of our kid that have paid the school fee without informing me and she sent me purposely faraway to my daughter's school(boarding) and she lied to me that she was going to work.
When i got to work i was surprised that she didn't call me to ask if i was back, i tried reaching her but her number wasn't reachable..
When i got home i saw that Ruth's picture in the living room were all gone, i ran to her room all the clothes in her closet were gone. I almost ran mad.
I ran outside i noticed Ruth's car that i gave her was with old tyres and i just bought the tyres not up to a month and i went to check if she wasn't kidnapped to my surprise i saw a nasty letter from Ruth that she has left the house that she has gone to the north for a job.
I called her mom and brother their numbers were switched off, next day same thing...my family called too same thing..
My family said we should go to her place of work but i refused because i didn't fight with her and this was still the same person that was teasing me in the morning that i look good with my outfits that enough babes for me today.
I'm someone that doesn't know how to cook but i do house chores very well.
More than 7 month Ruth didn't call me, in between was my birthday but she didn't put a message/call through i was going crazy i started drinking and keeping late night hanging out with people i haven't been with for years. Thank God for a female friend that i had then she would come and cook for me and talk sense into my head.
Later, i was picking up gradually. Her friends do see me with the female friend so they were updating her.
There was a time her car (ruth) got faulty on her way home she called me to come and pick up my car that it is faulty, so i went there with a mechanic she was in the car with her aunt gisting after they left the mechanic asked me how is the person in the car related to me and i told him who they were that she has packed her things out he said i should not allow her to come back again but he refused to tell me why.
I started a business and the daughter told Ruth about it and sent her pics she started finding a way to get back to me.
Ruth has been with me for more than 16years without any achievement of a house/establishment.
And Ruth has bought a land and started the foundation it was the daughter that showed me on Ruth's phone but she lied that it was for her mom and this is the mom that isn't working.
What do you think i should do? Some people are saying i should forgive her and take her back because of the kids while some are saying i should just let her be because her coming back is to destroy and kill me.
Don't forget this is someone that made me go tru hell and i never achieved anything when she was with me for more than 16years.
Immediately she left i started achieving things gradually.
I'm at peace now, i sleep well, no more blood pressure.
Your sincere advice is appreciated and welcomed.
GOD BLESS YOU.
