One of the most frequently asked question by my readers is how to get their ex to love them again. Before I go on to address how you can make your ex fall in love with you again, let me help you understand why your ex fell out of love with you in the first place. Just like when you are sick and you go see a doctor, your doctor needs to make a diagnosis before he can recommend the best treatment for your illness. We also need to pinpoint what really went wrong in your relationship and what led your ex to stop loving you before we can come up with the best course of action to remedy the situation. Common Signs That Your Ex Is Falling Out Of Love With You Your Ex Less Patient And Easily Frustrated With You Did you notice that your ex was getting easily annoyed and frustrated with you some time before the breakup? Even if you did, you might have brushed it off, thinking that your ex was just having a bad day. If it just happened a couple of times, then you might be correct to think that way. But if your ex has been acting this way towards you for an extended period of time, then something might be wrong, especially if it feels like that your ex is purposely trying to find fault with you. Maybe your ex suddenly begins to find some of your habits annoying when he or she had no problems with it before. For example, your ex might tell you that it drives him or her crazy when you always leave drawers open after taking something out or you never put back the book on the bookshelf after reading. If this happens, you need to take this as a warning sign. Your Ex Is Withdrawn And Distant You can feel that your ex is cold and distant from the way he or she talks with you. Perhaps, in the past, your ex talked to you about everything. You were the first one that your ex would come to if he or she was feeling down. You were also the first one to know if he or she had good news. Yes, passion and affection inevitably diminish with time, especially if you are not putting in efforts to keep the spark alive. But, if you are still in love with someone, you would still shower that someone with affection and attention, albeit less frequently than before. Has your ex stopped doing all the sweet things he or she used to do for you? Was your ex always trying to find excuses to avoid intimacy? Has it been a long time since your ex gave you the long hugs and passionate kisses? Were you always the one who initiated everything such as or holding hands? Was your sex life starting to feel mundane? If yes, it is most likely your ex has already started falling out of love with you. Your ex is spending more time with friends and co-workers than with you. Or, instead of hanging out with you, your ex wants to focus on his or her work or studies or hobbies. When you call or text your ex, it is also taking much longer to get a reply or sometimes your ex simply forgets to reply. This is a stark contrast to when you two were madly in love with each other and your ex would call or text you to just tell you he or she in the middle of the work day. When your ex feels that the relationship is not the same and is not feeling love for you any more, will inevitably start to show and he or she might not be even aware of it. We support each other, laugh together, do everything together. I wish he would have told me so I could have made more effort the last few months. As she came up the driveway, our conversation was very plain and unfeeling. I had detected for probably about 3 weeks the distance between us, so I worked up the courage to ask what she was thinking. I was just shocked. It is normally a gradual process. It might be emotional needs or physical needs or a combination of both. For example, your ex was not feeling loved and appreciated by you or you were making your ex feel insignificant and not needed. When these needs are unmet, your ex would feel that the relationship was not going anywhere and was also likely to go to someone who can meet his or her needs. That is why your ex fell in love with you and wanted to be in a relationship with you in the first place. However, we change along the way and our needs might also change over time. So, it is important that we talk to each other about our needs. For example, sometimes your partner might need you to listen to him or her more. Or sometimes your partner might need you to say the words I love you more often. During honeymoon period, your ex is just perfect in every way and you feel so lucky to have found him or her. When the newness and excitement wears off and everything in the relationship becomes routine, you might have the feeling that the relationship is not the same as before and love and passion is not there any more. Did you notice that you and your ex spend the weekends the same way and hang out with the same group of people and go to the same restaurant for as long as you can remember? Did you take each other for granted and stop trying to make each other feel special? When this happens, the spark would slowly fade. Neither you or your ex can read minds. That is why proper communication can help you and your ex understand each other better and avoid misunderstanding. Sometimes, you might do something not on purpose that could upset your ex. Or, you fight constantly with your ex and say hurtful things to each other instead of having a peaceful and constructive talk to resolve the issue. You start to see each other as enemy. When that happens, any feelings of love and affection will be replaced by anger. Sometimes, you gave in to temptation and cheated on your ex and lied straight to his or her face. Your ex was hurt and heartbroken by your betrayal to the extent that he or she gave up on the relationship and you. Nothing makes a person fall out of love quicker than feeling betrayed and cheated. Trust and honesty is the foundation of any loving and healthy relationship. Infidelity is all what it takes to destroy that very foundation. The only instinctive reaction would be to end the relationship and stay away as far as possible. Did you turn into one of those clingy and needy girlfriends along the way? How To Make Your Ex Love You Again So, what do you need to do to make your ex fall in love with you all over again? Your ex fell for you before, so it is possible for you to rekindle the relationship and make your ex to fall head over toes for you again. There are two ways we interact with people and things around us. We are either showing interest by pulling them towards us or showing disinterest by pushing them away from us. However, when you try too hard to pull your ex towards you, it will put pressure on your ex and make them naturally want to retreat from you. Another problem with trying very hard to pull your ex towards you is that your ex will think that they can have you any time they want and kills any chemistry you might otherwise have had together. So, that is why I advise my clients to limit or cut communication for a period of 3 to 4 weeks. By initiating no contact, you are effectively pulling away from your ex and making them naturally want to pull you back because you have created a fear of loss in them. The same goes for your ex. Some of the criteria are from the conscious mind while others come from the subconscious mind which you might not even be aware of. For example, maybe you only like tall and muscular guys with blue eyes. That is a desirable physical trait in your eyes and it is one of your conscious criteria. Perhaps, you might not know it but all the guys you fell for in the past have one thing in common which is that they are all very sociable. This could be one of your subconscious criteria. So, how does subconscious criteria play a part in making people fall in love? We all have weakness and vulnerability, and we naturally want to compensate for any weakness we might have. In the case of love, we subconsciously fall in love with someone who can compensate for our weakness because it makes us feel completed and whole by being with them. The fact that your ex fell for you before means that you satisfy most if not all of his or her criteria. One of the major reasons why relationships fail is because both parties put on their best behavior and show their best side at the start of a relationship but over time they revert back to who they really are. Maybe your ex liked you because you were confident, smart or sociable. But over time, you let these key qualities dwindle. Then, your ex started to feel that you are no longer the same person he or she fell in love with originally. First, I want you to list down all the things that attracted your ex to you in the first place. With this information, it will significantly increase your chances of making your ex realize that you were the right person for him or her and fall for you all over again. Obviously, it is not going to work if you tell your ex directly that you possess certain qualities that match his or her subconscious criteria. First of all, it will sound super weird. Secondly, telling your ex directly is not going to have much impact. The correct way to do it is to subtly and indirectly show your ex that you match his or her subconscious criteria. So, during your conversation with your ex, you could recount a story which shows that you are a caring and affectionate person. Making Your Ex Addicted To Talking To You Right now, you might not be the person that your ex wants to call or text every day. But, you used to be that person. In other words, your ex no longer finds talking to you an enjoyable experience. Perhaps the last time you talked to your ex, you two ended up quarreling and yelling at each other or you ended up crying nonstop and begging your ex to come back to you. Obviously, it would not make your ex feel good after the conversation ends. And your ex would then associate these negative feelings with talking to you, which in turn results in your. So, it is time to if you really want to get back with your ex. And start creating positive and enjoyable experience when you talk to your ex. How do we do that? One easy way to do it is that you bring up past good memories that have a strong emotional impact on your ex. The rationale of doing that is your ex will think back all the good times when you two were still together and your ex would possibly miss it. Another way to do is that you make your conversation with your ex fun and engaging to get him or her hooked on hearing more from you. This is the same way how popular TV series script writer gets you to tune in religiously every week for each new episode. Filed Under: Hey Our breakup main reason is I am pushing him to meet his family and want commitment. But he wants time and never do that. We have one year relationship. After breakup I stop convertation. After one week later he send text to my elder sister and want to know about our situation. And we were no contact in 1 month but in this one month no contact period of I send text he answered me. After one month later we start our convertation. He talk to me same interest and share me everything like before. But he told me that we r only friend nothing else. If i want our friendship last longer but just friend. I want him back. And I want in this time he proposed me to commitment. What to do now? I love him and want him back. And I want he proposed me for commitment realationship.
