As Simon says submissive women have submissive eyes. Once making my wife my passion there were very specific things I began noticing when looking into her eyes, and watching her body language. I began to notice when she was craving and desiring attention, when she is stressed, hormonal or just in need of a hug.
In closing I would would like to mention one other thing. We are conditioned people; we have been conditioned to spank as an end resolve, or that to spank is negative, or bad. I am of the belief that spanking is a very positive tool that is used in my wife and my relationship, erotically, to relieve stress and to keep us physically, mentally and passionatelly connected. Good luck to you Tom and assert your dominance: you have your wife's consent.
A readers' forum post by Race on Thu, 06/01/2005 - 23:17 | reply to this comment
It takes time and a committed effort
A readers' forum post by Stephen on Fri, 07/01/2005 - 02:10 | reply to this comment
You have already received some great advice from those who have responded to your request for help. I would especially echo the advice to be kind to yourself. As Sarah pointed out, you WILL make mistakes along the way. I have long been interested in spanking and consider myself dominant within our relationship, yet it took me almost a year before I truly felt comfortable and was consistent in my role. We men carry a lot of cultural baggage that frowns on this type of relationship. It does take some psychological adjustment to reach a place inside yourself where you feel comfortable taking your wife in hand. So be patient.
But make no mistake - it takes a committed effort by you to be consistent and to stay engaged. She is looking to you to lead - to be in control. It has been my experience that when times are stressful this is when she needs you the most. Of all the complaints I have read on sites like this, women most often complain about their husband’s lack of consistency. If you only do this sporadically or when you are in the mood or half heartedly, she will lose faith in your commitment to her. I kid you not - if she has demonstrated the courage to bring this up, then it is very, very important to her. If you want those good feelings to continue, then you must make a consistent and concerted effort. Just because things do not always go smoothly does not mean you are a failure. Believe me she will appreciate your efforts. The worst thing you can do is withdraw. Most women do not want to orchestrate this. The whole point of this for a woman is to surrender her control to the man she loves, trusts, and respects. If she has to nag her husbands, then who is really in control?