I got her a dozen roses and a box of her favorite chocolates. The kids might feel like they are being disloyal to their mother if they are kind to the girlfriend. They might have hope that the parents are getting back together and that this is the woman standing in the way of that. They might really like the woman, but are just shy. They might just want to be with their dad. Here are a few tips on dating a guy with kids. They are NOT your kids. They have a mom. What you are to them is a friend, a mentor, and another adult that they can lean on for support in life. You might want to tell them you realize that they have a mom and you respect that. You are simply there as their friend, as a mentor, and as just another person who they can lean on in life if and when they need help and support. Be kind to the kids no matter what. Even if you sense some attitude from them. Just be a nice person. Remember that you are the adult and they are just children. Have confidence in yourself. In time, just like my friend did, they will come around. Understand when your boyfriend wants to spend time with his kids without you. Let him have space and enjoy his kids. If you do that, when he IS with you, he will love you so much more. Either way is tough. I was really lucky my step-father was SO great at playing that role in my life. None of this really bother me. I figured in time things would get better. But then something happened 2 nights ago. I have a terrible cough. My boyfriend was making me homemade cough syrup and it contained Schnapps. We, my BF and I, decided if I took a swig off the Schnapps every hour or so it would help my cough and it did. So I took a few sips before bed I absolutely hate the taste of beer, wine and any liquor before I took my ambien and fell asleep. Well, I did some sleep walking and mumbling walking around the house. Both is kids saw this. Now my boyfriend is saying it traumatized the kids. So, that makes me angry with him. Law School Oh, the night all this happened with me my BF was drinking and getting buzzed. But that seems to be okay because his kids accept his drinking????? Im pregnant and I also have three boys 7 6 4. My bf lives with me in my house, he gets his kids evety Saturday, they arerude to me, rude to my kids, they dont listen and there dad usually sides with them. Worst of all because of this I have a hard time even wanting them here. Im not sure what to do, me and him have a baby who should be here in the next month, itsnot fair to her not to have her dad around because hrr siblings dont like me. It is not her fault. It is between her boyfriend and his ex wife. The 3 younger ADULTS live with us. I am waiting for the 22 year old to be told to leave. The 2 younger adults go to school part time. No one but me does the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping. I used to set the table, prepare dinner, sit down to eat. By the time I sat down one of them would be finished and would be leaving before I eventook my first bite. Sometimes I don even bother cooking. I prepare food for myself and my boyfriend. I think your decision is a good one, and by taking care of all the house responsibilities it could hinder their taking on natural adult responsibilities. Good on you for setting boundaries on your time and energy. I feel this is so important too! Yes, I do expect HIM to talk to his kids and tell them they are crossing boundaries and making ME uncomfortable in MY own home! They as you stated are NOT my kids, so that is not MY talk to have, it is HIS responsibility! THAT IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS!! She is out on her own and needs to stay out of our business. She is daddies little princess and it shows!! Then his 16 yr old son is a little Prince, or so he thinks, he thinks he runs the house and our lives also. Makes me so angry!! He shows up at dinner time with his friends I DID NOT KNOW WERE COMING.. We got him every other week. His father said nothing to him of how rude and disrespectful that was to me. SO WHAT WORTH IT TO ME!! This kid is a royal pain in my arse!! I want him to go away!! NO BLOOD should definitely NOT come before me!! I am in a very difficult situation. I love my fiancee so much and when it is just him and I we have a great understanding. His children are 35, 30 and 19. We moved into his marital home and the house that he raised his children before seperating from his ex. So his youngest was 6-7 when he left the home. Now divorced, we have taken over the house with eldest daughter at 30 still living there and youngest visiting regularly. I got along with them well before we moved in, but after we relocated to the marital home, everything changed. I had 12 months of difficult situations, basically it is not my home, I am not their mother and dad and I receive little respect. Both girls have not spoken to me for 7 months out of 12, and they will not allow me to talk to them about the situation. My fiancee supported them most of the time, over basic things. Like can you bring your washing down so I can do it. But that would end with them yelling at their father, telling him that I have no right to ask them to do things. My fiancee labelled me a trouble maker many times throughout the last 12 months. After 12 months of passive agression and isolation, and blame, yesterday I followed the girls upstairs they were collecting some clothes and I let it all out. I was histerical, shaking and crying, and just screaming. I think I had a mental breakdown. His kids refuse to be part of his life now, when I am involved. My fiancee and I are getting married in 6 weeks, they all refuse to come to the wedding and now I fear that our married life will be scared from this experience. If you are reading this could you please give me some advice. I love my fiancee, but I think us getting married might hurt him in the long term. We have been together for almost 3 years and my bf if afraid to ask me to marry him because he said that his kids are not ready. I pray that it will get better but it seems as though from all accounts it could be worse. I also have children, but I believe they are better if I treat them accordingly. However, his daughter who is much younger middle-school age is having a difficult time with her father dating. I am trying to be patient and trusting that God will work things out. Blended families can be very challenging. When my bf kids come out I have to disapear. I told him if he sees a future with me, I have to be included in some way. His daughter is 17 and his son is 15. They live a few hours away and come out friday through Sunday. His daughter is ok with me. But the son hates me and has told everyone. They are rude to his family. The kids are not in the house Wednesday and Thursday every week and from Wednesday through Sunday every other week. On top of that, my boyfriend suffers from anxiety and seeing the kids that way makes him more vulnerable. Just like other people expressed his daughter is daddies keeper and his son manipulates him in every aspect. I found out his ex-girlfriend had the same issue with these kids but they were probably worst with them. This situation in not going to changed anytime soon until they leave the house which is not happening any time soon. How long a person can tolerate this situation? Just last week, his 18 year old daughter was bothered that I kissed him on the cheek while there mother was in the same room. If they want to be a part of mine, they are always welcome but I will no longer push myself into theirs. He needs to realize, his kids are punishing him, not me. So, as you have done, make the decision to not care about them. They will be living their own lives soon and it will just be you and your boyfriend. But guys are so passive in that way and they are all so uncomfortable with their ex wives. But I bet your guy is a great guy who really loves you. He has been divorced for 5 years and has a teenaged son 14. He is a nice kid, but a shy one, I guess other kids would call him nerdy or anti-social. We do have mutual friends who say they are worried about him because he is so shy. Plus, a few months before me. So, I admit that I go out of my way to show him that perhaps unlike the other woman, I get it and that I will make every effort. Although its difficult at times because I feel like the odd man out, especially when we go to outings or trips together. We have gone on two family vacations together I have no kids where the son was with us. I tried to engage occasionally, but its obvious he wanted no part of the trip or me. I am being patient, however but its difficult. I think that my boyfriend sees this and does things to reassure the kid that he is the priority. He is a smart kid, and is very polite and I commend my bf and his ex wife for co parenting well. But, I know h
