Instead of focusing on whether this person is the one, just have fun and enjoy getting to know someone new. Look beyond your type. Thankfully, being the nice Jewish gal that I am, I had no problem sin straight to a shrink. These practices will also breed more confidence and balance. Therefore, if you are honest about your demands, you will be more likely to find your man with the same goals. Understand that the healthier and happier you feel, the better dating will go, so do everything in your piece to date as your best, most authentic and most confident self. Thus, it is the time for you to live in the right world, right at this current moment — not the ideal person of your 18 years old. Following are highlights of our loosely met conversation. The purpose of your profile is to market you. Walk in to meet your date like you own the place. Do you need help getting out of your rut and back into dating, so you meet the right man?.
When I was 45, sick of being single, and determined to meet my man, I turned to a therapist for help. At the time there were no dating coaches and very few psychotherapists who gave dating advice for women over 40. Thankfully, being the nice Jewish gal that I am, I had no problem going straight to a shrink. Lucky for all of us, now there is dating and relationship advice for women over 40 from all quarters. So, when I discovered Rachel Dack, who is both a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor AND a dating and relationship coach, I just had to pick her brain. What a great combination! Please share with us what you observe as the main barriers preventing women over 40 from achieving love? The main barriers preventing women over 40 from achieving love are personal insecurities, lack of self-love and low self-esteem. These mental blocks create an unhealthy mindset about themselves, men, dating, love or relationships and unfortunately hold them back from creating genuine connections. These women may be going on dates and meeting numerous available men, but their negative mindsets and self-sabotaging beliefs are problematic when reinforced over and over again. They may play the victim, blame themselves for their dating failures, feel intense anger toward men or lead with sex. They may play games, have unrealistic expectations, sabotage developing relationships or struggle to believe a man could genuinely be interested and therefore, they keep men at a distance. Another main barrier women over 40 face is unresolved baggage, emotional wounds or trauma from the past. So often the past trickles into the present and impacts dating, so despite many women feeling open and ready for love, they approach dating with walls and activated defense mechanisms for protection or they pick the wrong men altogether. It can feel challenging for them to keep hope alive and trust men. Dating without a healthy, hopeful mindset and lack of resolution about the past leaves many women less available to high quality men. Healthy self-care practices will make dating feel more tolerable and fun, despite the potential ups and downs and help you cultivate more self-love. Understand that the healthier and happier you feel, the better dating will go, so do everything in your power to date as your best, most authentic and most confident self! These practices will also breed more confidence and balance. It is so important to nurture yourself and your other relationships regardless of how dating is going. A holistic approach to dating, healthy self-care practices, personal growth and freedom from the past will help you feel more empowered and lead to more successful dating outcomes. What are your tips for dealing with dating rejection? Rejection is unfortunately an inevitable part of dating, so be careful in assuming something is wrong with you or you are inadequate. Getting rejected may actually have little to do with you and is often linked with his own emotional availability, maturity and timing. Long story short, rejection is unavoidable, no matter how much you have to offer. This is a dangerous way to live! Allow yourself to feel the pain and grieve the loss while staying aligned with your goals and learning from dating mistakes and mishaps. If you are noticing patterns that may be contributing to being rejected for example, multiple men say you appear cold, distracted or uninterested , do the work to cultivate insight and closure, learn important lessons and stay optimistic. Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor LCPC , Nationally Certified Counselor NCC , and dating and relationship coach for men and women. Rachel offers psychotherapy and coaching services in person and by phone through her private practice, Rachel Dack Counseling LLC, located in Bethesda, Maryland. Social media links: Facebook: Twitter: Instagram:.
