I cannot believe you chose your God over me! I was born to a Christian father and a Taoist mother. I did not know what I was doing at the time—I simply followed my mother and held joss sticks to pray. Thankfully, my grandmother showed me the way. Every night without fail, she would teach me how to pray to Jesus. My mother eventually converted to Christianity when I was nine and I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior when I was 16. Naively, I thought I could do the same. Duncan and I were colleagues and we worked on many projects together. Day by day, we became closer and we started hanging out exclusively. I shared my troubles at work with him and I enjoyed his company as he listened to me. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Despite knowing what God had said through Paul in the Bible, my stubborn heart chose its own way. I was determined to make my relationship with Duncan work. I was convinced that after I shared the Gospel with Duncan, he would believe in Christ and our yokes would then be equal. How overconfident and optimistic I was. Red Flags One year into our relationship, I began to hear God speaking to me. I started to have unusual dreams. I had dreams of Duncan and I constantly fighting, of Duncan with another girl, and of me being in church with a guy who was not Duncan. While I struggled to make sense of these dreams, I sensed the Holy Spirit prompting me that the relationship was wrong. Even as I spent more time with Duncan, the Holy Spirit would tell me time and again that I deserved someone who knows God personally and intimately. Deep down, I knew what I needed was a man who could pray and worship God together with me. We had different perspectives on the world and had opposing views on many issues. We disagreed on issues such as homosexuality—Duncan believed that some people are born to be gay and should be given the free will to love. Duncan also did not want kids—he saw them as a burden, while I saw them as a gift from God. It also troubled me that Duncan was finding it especially difficult to forgive people who had wronged him. These arguments left me frustrated. I would get so exhausted that I gave up trying to change his mind. I would give in, not wanting to continue our fights. It became clear to me that our yokes were vastly different. God was not the center of our relationship. Being with him was akin to having one person pulling in one direction and the other one pushing in another. Despite the red flags from concerned family members and friends, I pressed on because I did not want to start over. He was my first serious boyfriend and I was afraid that no one would love me again. After being with Duncan for two years, I did not want to leave the familiarity of our relationship. I also continued to pray for God to soften his heart so that he could know Jesus. He was physically present in church, but was not present emotionally and spiritually. He struggled to understand the faith and his disbelief led him to constantly challenge the existence and sovereignty of God. His heart was hardened against God. The breaking point came for me when Duncan declared that I should learn to accept him for who he is: a non-believer. I cried, pleading with him to reconsider his choice. Ultimately, he refused to change his mind. That was when I knew what I had to do: I had to let this relationship go. I broke up with him that evening. Even though my heart is still aching from the breakup, I know that I must run to God and let Him heal me. I also asked God for forgiveness, knowing too well that I had been disobedient. I had ignored His promptings and His Word throughout my relationship with Duncan, which lasted two years. I cannot be certain that I will eventually be married in the future. However, there is one thing I know for sure—Christ is indeed enough for me. I trust that—if it is in His grand plan—He will place a godly man in my life. Forcing him to be a believer so that you can accept him? Do you know what is love anymore? I understand that you are a strong believer in jesus. But u dont have to force someone into it just because you love him and be comfortable with him if he is a believer like you. I think initially, he accepted u as a strong believer, but why cant u do the same like your father? Accept who your mom is. Loving god is different to loving a human. Dont mix religion things into love, it would not work. Learn how to accept different things. Yea what he said could be senstitive to you since u are one strong believer. For example, i cant believe u choose god over me. Thats a bit mean tho. But again, if u felt that u are wayyyy more comfortable being with a strong believer, then by all means only choose guys who are also the same believer as you. I think you are a great
